how dio I stop being recycled?

[nownotsure]

I had enough of my uBPDgf behavior on the weekend that I walked out the door hopefully for the last time. I won't post the details, as I've already posted it on the undecided forum for anyone who wishes to read it. Let's leave it, that at I've come to the point where I cant take anymore of her selfish games.

So what worries me, is in the 18 months we've been together, we've broken up at least 6 times and like a fool I've taken her back like nothing happened. It doesn't take much more than her to say she really misses me for me to break down and end up repeating the cycle.

I'm worried if and when she calls, it will either trigger a fight or I'll get sucked right back in like before. So how does one overcome not feeling like a jerk by not answering when an ex repeatedly calls and then resorts to banging on the front door?

[arn131arn]

I had enough of my uBPDgf behavior on the weekend that I walked out the door hopefully for the last time. I won't post the details, as I've already posted it on the undecided forum for anyone who wishes to read it. Let's leave it, that at I've come to the point where I cant take anymore of her selfish games.

So what worries me, is in the 18 months we've been together, we've broken up at least 6 times and like a fool I've taken her back like nothing happened. It doesn't take much more than her to say she really misses me for me to break down and end up repeating the cycle.

I'm worried if and when she calls, it will either trigger a fight or I'll get sucked right back in like before. So how does one overcome not feeling like a jerk by not answering when an ex repeatedly calls and then resorts to banging on the front door?

It's easy, and I wish I learned this lesson 14 years ago.

Sit the next dance out.

You don't have to dance every dance.

Trust me, you can save yourself allot of pain and suffering in the future.

I recycled over 40+ times... . that was my decision I made.

You are the only one who can decide

[seeking balance]

So how does one overcome not feeling like a jerk by not answering when an ex repeatedly calls and then resorts to banging on the front door?

I suppose you have to decide that feeling like a jerk is better than going back through another round of chaos.

Question:

When someone disrespects you and tramples your boundaries - exactly how does this make you a jerk by your definition?

[MammaMia]

Nownotsure

If you have really left for the last time, you should go NC.  Make it clear you are done, go NC and stay that way.

If you do not, you open the door for recycling again and again.

Hard decision.  Do what is best for you.

[NyGirl8]

Sit the next dance out.

Love this!

[nownotsure]

Seekingbalance, that's a good point! I guess I have a short memory.

It's hard to deal with her pleading and crying over the phone, because part of me still remembers the thoughtful and decent side of her. Of course you're right, days later when she starts to act selfish and mean, I end up wishing I'd been a jerk and ignored her. It's been a hard lesson to learn.

[Take2]

Painfully hard for some of us... .

And it just hurts us more and more each time... .