Parent of beautiful child with BPD

[3kids1job]

For the past two years my husband and two other daughter have been walking on eggshells around their sister and our daughter. We always knew she was quirky but early 2016, several life events triggered rage, regression into toddler tantrums (she is 16) physical violence and verbal abuse. We tried to get her help but she refused. The psychologist suggested we have her tested for bi polar and schizophrenia but she refused.

A few days ago someone suggested "Walking on Eggshells" and I had an "Ah ha" moment. Still, the family is being torn apart and we continue to walk on eggshells.

She loves the water and sailing so we dole out a lot of money monthly to keep her on the water which is cheaper than rehab but this is now no longer a happy place. She sees how all of the other kids hang out and get along and it is making her feel more isolated. Tonight she came home from a regatta and asked me why she never gets invited to any high school parties. She does not have any friends and while my husband took her and her siblings to see Thor, I am home crying because my heart is breaking.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[heartandwhole]

Hi 3kids1job,



I'm so sorry that you are feeling down, and I can understand that your heart aches for your daughter and family. Seeing our child hurting, and walking on eggshells around a family member can be very stressful and anxiety-producing.

I'm very glad that you reached out for support, because you've found a place with members who understand what you are going through, and tons of resources to help make things better. And things can get better—there is hope!

What ages are your 2 other daughters? Do they all live with you and your husband?

Do you have a support system around you, such as other family, friends, a counselor? It's important to have support for you, so you can stay strong and know that you don't have to do this all alone. There is help out there.

Unfortunately, it's often not easy for someone with BPD to agree to therapy. There can be a lack of self-awareness that makes it difficult for our loved ones to accept that therapy will help them. We have an excellent article on this subject here: Getting a Loved One with BPD into Therapy  I hope you'll find it helpful.

Keep posting and sharing. It helps. We are here to support you.

heartandwhole