Those therapists have no idea what they are dealing with now I assume.
Personality disorders are difficult to detect; are niche within the world of psychology a T does not have the qualification to diagnose someone and even a doctor can not diagnose someone that is not present assuming that you’re talking about someone that is not in the same room as you but is a part of your life or was at some point.
They can talk about traits of a personality disorder.
I became to feel the loss, confused and started plead to take me back, and I didn't respect her decision to not contact her. Most of the texts were about I apologizing too her many times, but she just started to insult me and then apologize for it.
Projection is not synonymous with BPD but borderlines project to the nth degree.
You started to panic. If she were a pwBPD or not do not chase because you are telegraphing to the your ex that you’re needy and that is a turn off to the opposite sex. I completely understand getting caught up in the moment and it is easier said than done but work in staying centered, don’t let your ex or a gf test you and have you get uncentered.
Think of it this way if you’re fighting with her and she is fighting with you what thoughts about the other person are you conjuring about the other person? Positive or negative? Negative thoughts you have to give it some time for the other person to forget about those negative thoughts and start missing you and start having positive thoughts about you that is when it starts working in your favor.
I’d say that there are borderline traits and keep in mind that there are a lot of members with exes that are subclinical. Think about NC as a time to pause and think about what you want and give yourself some space to regroup and to work on yourself. If you’re not done with this girl that’s your choice nobody can tell you to stay or go. We support your decision - if you still want to be with her I suggest posting on the bettering board because the advice there can help you decide which way to go if you chose to go back.