Click on diagram for more informationSo I was reading this article on this site:
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=108384.0And I started wondering how this plays out in co-parenting. I mean, it is clear in our situation that the kids play the rescuing role, BPD mom plays the victim, and DH gets to be the persecutor. But how much of this is based on BPD mom assigning roles? I mean, BPD mom and DH have very few interactions…in the past year, 100% of their contact has been via email or text, and if you read the emails, BPD mom is persecutor, not DH. But, in the kids' minds, it is DH persecuting because that is how BPD mom portrays him (and in the home, he is clearly a dominant personality so it would be a natural leap for them). They don't read her attacking emails. They don't see the vindictive and vitriolic names she calls him. They don't see him desperately trying to work with her, only for her to send an email in all caps attacking him. They just see sweet BPD mom who keeps getting victimized by my DH (and his lawyer).
Then, you could also say that my DH sees himself as a victim in the triangle, but no one else in the triangle does so not sure if he gets to claim that spot…lol.
The last time in court, the judge saw through mom's BS, but I am sure it just allowed her to play the victim role even more with the kids.
So I guess I am thinking that when there is not direct contact, a party to the Karpman triangle may just get assigned a role, whether they like it or not. Thoughts?