Dilemma

[Murbay]

Something that has been playing in my mind today is whether or not I break NC tomorrow after almost 2 weeks.

My exBPDw has spinal surgery 3 months ago and tomorrow is her visit to the surgeon to get the all clear. The compassionate part of me is still concerned and I do hope she gets the news she is wanting. The logical part of me is saying that it would be a bad move on many different levels. My mind plays through the all too familiar scenarios of, if I do say something, I open myself up to the abuse and ridicule, if I don't say anything then I am uncaring and didn't love her anyway. It was an all too familiar scenario in almost every disagreement we had, damned if I do and damned if I don't. However, I do care and I do hope things go the way she wants them to tomorrow, I just don't know if I should break NC in order to do that.

The other option I have, since I have to break NC next week anyway to let her know she can pick up her child support payment, is just to put a brief line in the message hoping that everything went well with the follow-up. Again, logic is screaming out that if she wanted me to know, she would contact me and tell me anyway.

I'm just not sure the best way to approach this situation without opening a can of worms.

[Vindi]

just be sure when she p/u her child support payment, you don't get too re involved and recycled back in.

You've already lasted 2 weeks and that is good, if you re open communication, again you could get recycled and back into the abuse and ridicule you've seen/heard b4.

And yes, spinal surgery is alot, but she is a big girl and can take care of herself, it doesn't mean you are uncaring if you don't know any of the outcome. It just means you are focusing on your life and moving ahead and not worrying about others.

The choice is yours... . and go w/logic, cuz yes if she did want you to know she would have contacted you.