My girlfriend is diagnosed with bpd. She’s going to therapy but hates it and isn’t getting much out of it anymore. I’ve been told one of her therapists thinks she won’t get anything out of it since she doesn’t want to be there so obviously.
She’s been in episodes (she hates when I call it that) on and off for a while but mostly on. She got in this one about 3 weeks ago. She’s relapsed with alcohol and has been drinking every day. We recently moved in together with a roommate but we have separate rooms. She hates being around me, she has apathy level 100, and she’s not even upset she’s in this episode. She doesn’t care and would be fine if it never ended. She’s not going to stop drinking until she feels like it (I don’t drink and I don’t want to be with her if she’s drinking for life but I understand relapse and I’m not against them at all. To be clear I have never drunk, I do not have a substance abuse disorder).
She thinks I’m stupid for wanting to be with her and if we weren’t stuck in a lease until April, I’m quite sure she would have tried to break up with me. I say tried because we have an agreement (that she hates but did agree to earlier) that we won’t break up until she is out of any episode because she might not want to later. Every single thing I do pisses her off, she hates that I’m patient and understanding, that I’m more logical, and that I’m so good for her.
I have taken classes on addiction, family connections for bpd, Al-anon for a time, I’ve read books and I know pretty well how to deal with her. But it’s so
PLEASE READing hard and I feel like my grip is loosening. She’s not the most affectionate person when she’s out of an episode but I know without a doubt in my mind that she loves me and we have so much fun together. She’s family to me and I can see us being together for a long time.
I guess I wanted to share because I want to hear others’ opinions. Am I stupid for wanting to keep trying even though it’s so hard? If I wait it out will it get better? Can she get better without wanting to get better?
I really appreciate anything you have to say. Thank you