Hello seekingstrength,
I'd like to join the others in welcoming you to our family.
I understand the grief you feel now that you KNOW your DD has a bonafide mental illness. I went through a lot of grief too, when that realization struck me about my DD17. In May, my DD cut up her wrist so severely that she wound up in a pediatric mental hospital for a 3-day hold. Now, she has bright red keloid scars that will likely prevent her from getting a job. My heart hurts every time I see her wrist, or every time she isn't capable of things I always thought she'd be able to do.
The good news is, now that you have a name for what you've already been dealing with, there ARE things you can do to help make things better by not making them worse. I would not wish a diagnosis of BPD on anyone, BUT, it really helps to KNOW what your DD is suffering from and why you've had so many unusual struggles with her.
I'm really glad you found us! I found a lot of hope and support here, and I'm sure you will too. To start off, I recommend you go through the "tools" and "lessons" to the right of this board.------------------->
I found simply listening and validating my DD when she's upset helps calm her down. Also, by listening this way, it helps keep ME from getting involved in or upset about HER drama.
What triggered her diagnosis? Was there a recent event that caused you to research and find us? I'm so glad you did.