Trying to get by with my almost 18 son

[Parents! Get help here!]

Trying to get by with our 17 yr 9 month son. He was treated for 7 months then moved out into an apartment. We had him hospitalized to get him back on his meds and he was released back to his independent apartment as long as he is checked on regularly and meets with a therapist regularly.  We can’t handle him moving back in with us but he complies with us checking on him as he pleases.  My anxiety levels bounce between all encompassing and just beneath the surface.

[NewtoBPsupport]

Trying to get by with our 17 yr 9 month son. He was treated for 7 months then moved out into an apartment. We had him hospitalized to get him back on his meds and he was released back to his independent apartment as long as he is checked on regularly and meets with a therapist regularly.  We can’t handle him moving back in with us but he complies with us checking on him as he pleases.  My anxiety levels bounce between all encompassing and just beneath the surface.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Panda39]

Hi NewtoBPsupport,

I'm really glad you decided to jump in and join us...Welcome  .

I come at BPD from a slightly different angle, my partner has an undiagnosed BPD ex-wife (uBPDxw) but I was surprised by how much all of our stories have in common.

This is a great place to vent, receive support, learn new tools and strategies, we all "get it".

I can hear your fatigue, what are you doing for self-care?  It's really important that we take care of ourselves because if we don't we can't be our best for our BPD family members.

Can you tell us more about your son?  What kinds of behaviors are you seeing or struggling most with?

I know you will find support here.

Hang in there,
Panda39

[FaithHopeLove]

Hello Newtobpdsuppo I join Panda in welcoming you to the group. I also have a beloved son with BPD (25) who is not allowed to live with us. The reason is he sells drugs, rages, and has a lifestyle that is not acceptable to us. Can you say morenabout your son? How can we help you?

[NewtoBPsupport]

So, he is hanging out with his friends excessively and not allowing me to see him as directed. I’m not sure if he is taking his meds or if he did get the job that he says he got. He tells so many lies that I have no way of telling what’s real. I am one of his triggers as he says I’m controlling and won’t let him fail. As for self care, I dont have much we are in the middle of transitioning to the area because child services says we have to be local since he is a minor. So we’ve run up quite a bill with me staying in a hotel and having to use a rental car, so I’m living a spartan existence here in south Florida where nothing is within walking distance. I’m trying to work on my work stuff and building resumes as I have to find a new job by September. When it rains it pours. Since I’m new to the area I have no friends to visit or distract me. I have tried to maintain a schedule but restless nights lead to sleeping in and being drowsy. I’m pretty familiar with BP so none of this shocks me but having to interact with it daily is taking a lot of energy.

[FaithHopeLove]

That must be exhausting. Having to turn your own life upside down just to be geographically close to someone who won't even let you check on him regularly seems very unfair. Will this change once he turns 18?

[livednlearned]

My anxiety levels bounce between all encompassing and just beneath the surface.

That has to be extra tough with the move and looking for jobs.

Do you have any daily practices or self-care routines to help with the anxiety?