But if it's the longing that they live for, why don't they just long for someone else.
It's easier when someone has been 'primed' - or has shown a willingness to do the dance.
Wouldn't the "challenge" they get be more "challenging" with someone else?
Push/pull - with the same person.
I would have thought that the challenge of a new person would be more of challenge than to get the old one back. Unless it was the game that was the excitement?
It's not about "the chase" - it's about keeping people in the right spot - not too far, not too close.
But then from stories i read here, they still keep after you even after they have another.
Some do, some don't.  :)epends on several factors.
I'm still under the impression that my ex "loved" me - his version of love anyway, which was "you're prettier, smarter, etc, etc than anyone else I've had (his words not mine) so I like having you around because it makes me feel good about myself - as long as you keep me entertained".
Words are just that. He could say that to anyone. The comments about you may be true objectively - but that's unlikely the reason he said them to you.
Does anyone also think that maybe they also pick "out of their league" then hate you because of this.
They seem to, in one way or another - but regardless of looks, elegance, IQ, etc - you're already out of their league by being mentally healthy. It does seem that some of the women corroborate your description - but for some of the men (including me), in many superficial ways, they were out of our league (mine had high level government officials and heads of law firms hitting on her - one of them for a year+). Could depend on low vs high functioning too.
The 'picking you then hating you for being too good' is the loathing that 2010 mentioned (I think). You're both the source of pleasure and pain - and he has very little control over that.
He also seemed to get really jealous
Many unhealthy people have issues with that.
then he'd say I wasn't attentive enough and lose it over that.
They will find any reason to do so, when they feel like it.