Trying to get my daughter assessed

[Twinklegirlie]

My 14yr old daughter has BPD traits and, having read around the subject herself, she's actually very positive that she's found a description of her issues that 'fits'... .but her psychiatrist (I should say trainee psych) is horrified that she has done this and says she definitely doesn't think she has a personality disorder. She says, in any case, she is too young for a diagnosis such as this.

But we've been on this journey for years and, still, has not had an assessment. We're told that she must attend a 'day programme' (away from me) before they can assess her but this is her idea of a nightmare. Her psych is the only person she trusts but rarely gets to see her; we find it difficult to contact her. Instead, they expect my daughter to 'transfer' to a male psych nurse but she has lost trust  in him and, to be honest, she'd rather speak to a female... .but they think it will do her good to talk to a man... .but she refuses to talk to him.

My daughter's on the brink of self-harming again and 'her voice' is telling her to double the Sertraline she's on. This is a nightmare.

Has anyone been through anything similar? I don't know what to do next.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[SoSoSoTired]

Your situation sounds frightening.  I'm sorry you are experiencing this with your daughter.

Lock up her Zoloft now. A handful can be lethal. 

Is she actually hearing voices outside of her body?  If so, does her psychiatrist know she is hearing voices outside her body?

Since she is seeing a psychiatrist, she's been "assessed" for mental illness.  Do you mean she hasn't been given a PD diagnosis?  Many psychiatrists are hesitant to give a PD diagnosis until the individual reaches the age of 18.

Without starting a rage, can you get her to verbalize what causes her to only see a female health practitioner?  I can only take an educated guess from my own daughter's experience, but it might be that she feels she can't manipulate the male nurse practitioner.  Does she describe him as "unsympathetic"? 

Can you find out what is making her hesitant to go to the partial hospitalization program?  Is it anxiety about being away from you for 6-8 hours, peers and bullying inside the program, or that she won't get a BPD diagnosis? 

If you can get to the source of her refusal to see the male nurse practitioner and go to the partial hospitalization program, you can possibly help correct her distorted beliefs.