Help or advce

[Tucus]

My adult daughter, 44 years of age, has been recently diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder.  When I read the book Walking on Eggshells, it could have been written by me.  Finally an answer to years of confusion as to why she does the things she does and says the things she says.  It also made me realize that my sister and my aunt both suffered this disorder but never were diagnosed.  She is not doing well and I can't stand by and watch her suffer.  She lives in B.C. and I live in Alberta.  She has worked in the medical field so feels she knows better than any professional.  Extremely intelligent as well. 

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Sancho]

Your daughter has a lot of positive things to work with - she is very intelligent and has medical knowledge. How has she taken the diagnosis? Is she relieved to have an understanding of BPD? It sounds as though she may do well in therapy if she is able to access it in her own area. Do you discuss the diagnosis with her?

[Tucus]

My adult daughter is struggling mentally and dislikes me (her mother) and her brother at the moment as we finally have stood up to her in her verbal abuse and attacks.  It doesn't feel good, but for our mental health, we have set boundaries, so now she doesn't want to talk or see us.    She is adamant she does not have BPD and if she did, she wouldn't want to live, so she is not going to be honest about her experiences or ours (if this makes sense).  She is self destructing with having dismissed her mental health team, changing her mind, but now they have cancelled her with no back up plan, so she hasn't got any 3rd party support.  We have financed her for years and now have to rely on public means for help as none of us can afford private therapy.  She isn't eating and has missed some of her medication so her thoughts when she writes on Facebook don't make any sense.  She was admitted to hospital by a friend she was visiting, but discharged shortly after.  She isn't "crazy" enough...has no direction.  Feeling helpless and scared.

[candycorn]

So sorry to hear about your situation. Sounds somewhat like ours. 

We love our son, but cannot continue to allow him to walk all over us.