Hi hopeandfaith,
I'd like to welcome you to bpdfamily. I'm sorry to hear about the difficult time that you're going through with your daughter, we all need to talk to someone else sometimes. I'm glad that you decided to join the group, many of us here can relate with you and offer you guidance and support. Are you going to a T? ( Therapist )
She has gone back to nursing school and is doing well but it is very stressful for her. She has recently had some setbacks and has been cutting again and also has had some emotion dysregulation.
You probably already know this but BPD traits are more apparent when a pwBPD ( person with BPD ) are under stress. That's sad news that she can't find a new T in the new city that she moved to. I'm guessing that she's still open to the idea of finding a T?
Well long story short... .she is not speaking to me or her sister. When I tried to explain what I truly meant she wouldn't listen
I completely understand this behavior, it's pretty confusing and hurtful when you don't know what the source of the problem is. I also understand how the behavior can be emotionally exhausting, self care is really important when we have a pwBPD in our lives, what do you do for self care?
I suggest to read as much as you can about the disorder, it helps with normalizing the behavior and also depersonalizing the behavior, there's a reason why she behaves the way that she behaves, it's not personal. That being said, obviously you can still have your feelings about the behaviors, I'd suggest to share with us here to validate those feelings.
A pwBPD have difficulties seeing people as an integrated whole with both good and bad qualities at the same time, a good person has bad qualities and a bad person has good qualities, you're either all good or all bad. From what you shared here, I think that you're split black, splitting is a primitive defense mechanism that protects the ego against anxiety and stress. Your D can't control splitting people all good or all bad, it's something that happens it own, the best thing to do is to weather the storm for now, you don't want to risk getting split black for longer than you want.
Have you seen her split family members, friends of the family or her friends in the past? How long did were they split black?
BPD BEHAVIORS: Splitting