overwhelmed

[Mollymagoo]

hi.i am new to this and this is my first post. i'm afraid this could be a little long winded. apologies in advance.
we have been together 32 years, we have 2 wonderful adult children and my life is falling apart.
sean was exciting, funny and warm when i met him. we met at an Adult Child of Alcoholic meeting. i had been in al-anon for some time and he had been sober and in acoa as well for some time.  our first 7-10 years were pretty good. we had arguments that were heated but he was  a nice guy overall.  my first glimpse of a problem was when our daughter hit 13. she was unmanageable and he was rageful/out of control.  we found a therapist, she said he was bipolar. i insisted that he go on meds to manage his diagnosis or he couldn't live at home with me and the kids. he spent a couple of months out of the house but then went on meds. five years later, our kids were finishing high school and entering their college years. i don't know how, but suddenly he was drinking and smoking dope with them. i struggled with leaving him but as the only one working i felt financially trapped.
we struggled and some times were good and some weren't.  We have had a rough 2 years, his mother died and he was able to get sober, but then covid hit and he came unglued. he assaulted my daughters live in boyfriend and came close to it with my son's live in girlfriend. (2 separate epidsodes in 3months). just angry all the time. it escalated to a call to the police coming and a 19 day inpatient stay in a psych facility. all this to say that i don't even recognize the man in my home. he has been home 3 weeks. his thought are scattered and he is impossible to listen to or talk to. OMG, i have started reading all the books on BPD. i feel hopeless. i don't think i can be the endless supply of patience he needs. i would appreciate any wisdom you can offer. sorry for the length. this is new and very raw. MM

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