Diagnosis + Treatment
The Big Picture
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? [ Video ]
Five Dimensions of Human Personality
Think It's BPD but How Can I Know?
DSM Criteria for Personality Disorders
Treatment of BPD [ Video ]
Getting a Loved One Into Therapy
Top 50 Questions Members Ask
Home page
Forum
List of discussion groups
Making a first post
Find last post
Discussion group guidelines
Tips
Romantic relationship in or near breakup
Child (adult or adolescent) with BPD
Sibling or Parent with BPD
Boyfriend/Girlfriend with BPD
Partner or Spouse with BPD
Surviving a Failed Romantic Relationship
Tools
Wisemind
Ending conflict (3 minute lesson)
Listen with Empathy
Don't Be Invalidating
Setting boundaries
On-line CBT
Book reviews
Member workshops
About
Mission and Purpose
Website Policies
Membership Eligibility
Please Donate
May 13, 2024, 03:29:16 AM
Welcome,
Guest
. Please
login
or
register
.
1 Hour
5 Hours
1 Day
1 Week
Forever
Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins:
Kells76
,
Once Removed
,
Turkish
Senior Ambassadors:
Cat Familiar
,
EyesUp
,
SinisterComplex
Help!
Boards
Please Donate
Login to Post
New?--Click here to register
Survey: How do you compare?
Adult Children Sensitivity
67% are highly sensitive
Romantic Break-ups
73% have five or more recycles
Physical Hitting
66% of members were hit
Depression Test
61% of members are moderate-severe
108
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting
> Topic:
Extinction burst examples and how you succeeded...
Pages: [
1
]
Go Down
« previous
next »
Print
Author
Topic: Extinction burst examples and how you succeeded... (Read 679 times)
michel71
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 535
Extinction burst examples and how you succeeded...
«
on:
January 08, 2017, 12:54:57 PM »
I have been reading about extinction bursts and not reinforcing bad behavior. One site gave the example of giving a child a candy bar in the market when she starts to cry. If you do that every time the child will learn to cry to get the candy bar. To stop the reinforcement, you stop giving the candy bar. First time the kid cries during the entire shopping. Next time cries part of the time. Next time cries when she sees the candy bar... .by the 6th time or so no more crying.
Have any of you put this into practice? Did it work? I am trying to glean examples to see if I can understand it better and perhaps equate it to my situation and make use of it.
Logged
Naughty Nibbler
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Sibling
Posts: 1727
Re: Extinction burst examples and how you succeeded...
«
Reply #1 on:
January 08, 2017, 02:06:00 PM »
Hey Michel71:
The thread below is an example where someone is setting a boundary that will likely have some extinction bursts along the way. In the example, the member would generally apologize and take the blame, in order to stop a rant. He has started to hold onto his boundary and not apologize. (not validating the invalid) Towards the end of the thread, he refuses to apologize and argue.
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=303058.msg12833036#msg12833036
Have you read the lesson on Extinction Bursts, at the link below?
EXTINCTION BURSTS
Quote from: Excerpt from above Lesson, Extinction Bursts
Extinction Burst - The term extinction burst describes the phenomena of behavior temporarily getting worse, not better, when the reinforcement stops.
Spontaneous Recovery - Behavior affected by extinction is apt to recur in the future when the trigger is presented again. This is known as spontaneous recovery or the transient increase in behavior. Be aware of this eventuality. It is a part of the extinction process. Don't be discouraged.
Logged
Notwendy
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Posts: 10553
Re: Extinction burst examples and how you succeeded...
«
Reply #2 on:
January 08, 2017, 02:44:19 PM »
My H doesn't like me to go out and do things on my own in a social setting. When the kids were little, he would refuse to watch them, or agree and then back out at the last minute. I became isolated- basically was with the kids all the time. The other mothers were home most of the time, but got together with friends, a church group, or took a class in the evenings once a week.Their husbands seemed to be OK taking their turn with the kids. Mine was not. Some of my friends went on their own to visit family or friends. My H would protest that it wasn't fair.
They are older now, and don't need to be babysat all the time. A counselor encouraged me to go out to 12 step co-dependency groups. I don't think my H liked it, but realized that the counselor said I had to do it. In MC, I was the one with the label- co-dependency. At first I thought it was unfair, but with this label- there was instructions to follow- and I got to leave the house once a week.
We took a trip to visit family. I have some old friends there too. We had gone there before, but I didn't even think of contacting them. My H would have a fit- because these old friends included male friends from childhood. He gets very jealous of them, even though there is nothing going on to be jealous of. Even though we are all married with children and would get together in a group, my H got very agitated.
I went with my kids and another family member. I had such a good time catching up, I lost track of time. When I returned - he was raging, accusing me of ignoring him ,not answering his calls-but there were no calls on my phone. Then he blamed me for some things that had nothing to do with. Then on another trip, the same situation happened ,I contacted my friends, this time my H came along but raged again.
Before working on co-dependency, I would have said forget it- and not tried to see friends again when visiting. But I had the chance to take this trip without him and stay with family. He would have likely raised some argument about how I shouldn't go. But I was no longer afraid of his anger ( he was not a physical threat). The anger didn't work- because I didn't have the fear. I went. He didn't rage.
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?
Pages: [
1
]
Go Up
Print
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting
> Topic:
Extinction burst examples and how you succeeded...
« previous
next »
Jump to:
Please select a destination:
-----------------------------
Help Desk
-----------------------------
===> Open board
-----------------------------
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
-----------------------------
=> Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
=> Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting
=> Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
-----------------------------
Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD
-----------------------------
=> Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD
=> Parent, Sibling, or In-law Suffering from BPD
-----------------------------
Community Built Knowledge Base
-----------------------------
=> Library: Psychology questions and answers
=> Library: Tools and skills workshops
=> Library: Book Club, previews and discussions
=> Library: Video, audio, and pdfs
=> Library: Content to critique for possible feature articles
=> Library: BPDFamily research surveys
Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife
Loading...