I've fooled myself thinking that things were on the up and now I am lost... .
My back story is here
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=270884.msg12570233#msg12570233)
Since then we've kissed and made up, sex life became awesome and a everything seemed fine and then she sat me down and said
"It's been on the cards for years our sex life isn't right we need a sex break"
OK that comes with the territory ups and downs... .however when I asked a few weeks later what had sparked this she stated
You said I don't have any right to say no, I've been having sex with you when I don't want to my friends say it's rape I'm not sure if you've raped me... .
OK so for some context the conversation she refers to possibly(can't remember if at all) happened the week she admitted to an affair, admitted to protect her affair she had been trying to make me go crazy and she took an OD of lithium... .so wasn't at my best and not sure what was said which could be taken this way... .anyway more importantly I haven't acted this way and she agrees to this (I don't initiate sex ever)...
So fast forward 6 months she did another disappearing act and I got angry (school boy I know) and said I deserve better than this... .next conversation was basically you're right I'm unhappy and miss sex and intimacy for whatever reason I can't have sex with you I love you but... .
Let's have break so we can see other people sexually 1/2 days a week and continue our marriage and family on a temporary basis to get things back on track... .this will only be temporary (yeah right)... I said no and if she goes looking I'll leave ... .
This has flared up before so hopefully she will calm down and we will wait for the next storm. However, she refuses to address these sex/intimacy issues she has with me in her head... .so unless something happens I can only see this ending 1 way... .
Not sure if I want advice or just to vent, but I'm hurting and lost.
Thanks for reading
A very lost dad of 2 boys
(On the positive note the new star wars rogue one film looks amazeballs!)