Divorce Help

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

I am divorcing my spouse after 30 years of marriage.  The BL has wore me down.  She is current having affairs with four other men.  She is fifty.  I have been thtough this 5 other time.  This time I asked for a divorse and she moved in with one of them
  I am trying to cope with the loss and the freedom from here.

[Woodycoe]

I am divorcing my spouse after 30 years of marriage.  The BL has wore me down.  She is current having affairs with four other men.  She is fifty.  I have been thtough this 5 other time.  This time I asked for a divorse and she moved in with one of them
  I am trying to cope with the loss and the freedom from here.

[Harley Quinn]

Hi Woodycoe and

30 years is a long r/s to have to grieve and you'll have a lot to unravel.  I'm so sorry that you find yourself here, although I'm really glad that you found the site.  You're in the right place for support.  We have other members who are getting over long relationships too who will relate to what you're going through.

When you are ready, could you share more of your story with us and let us know how best we can support you?  Is your wife diagnosed?  I'd encourage you to take a look around at some of the resources here, which are reliable and prove helpful to those of us who are healing.  You can find some excellent articles to the right hand side of your screen and also the lessons, which are designed to help us work through the stages of grief and detaching.  It's a difficult journey, but things can and do get better.  There is life after BPD.  Keep reading and posting, join other discussions and make yourself at home here.  I'll look forward to hearing more from you.

Love and light x 

[Panda39]

Hi Woodycoe,

I'd like to join Harley Quinn and welcome you to the BPD Family as well 

Divorce isn't an easy thing married to someone with BPD or not but being married to and divorcing someone with BPD can bring it's own special challenges.

How are you doing?  Having someone cheat and break your trust is terribly painful (been there).   Self care is important and coming here to talk things out is really good I'm so glad you decided to jump in    But it's also important to take care of yourself in the real world too... .eating right, exercise, sleep are all things to pay attention to.

I know you are here on this board to work through the emotional aspects of going through a divorce but I did want to share with you that we also have a family law board if you want to talk about the nuts and bolts of your divorce.  No, the members on that board aren't lawyers but they have gone through what you are going through and can share their experience and strategies that have worked for them.

Link to Family Law board... .
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?board=10.0

I hope you will share more of your story it really helps to share, particularly with people that have been there and "get it".

Take Care,
Panda39

[Jeffree]

Woodycoe,

Are there any unemancipated children involved in this divorce?

J