BPD or just immature

[trevjim]

How do you differentiate between someone havind BPD or a similar disorder and simply being immature?

For example my ex is now nearly 22, she was 19 when we started dating. With the exception of mirroring which she either didn't do or I didn't pick up on it, I would say she was textbook BPD. However she was and still is young, a lot of young woman (men too) like to sleep around, cheat, have petty arguments etc, and too me this has always just Been a case of growing up into adulthood, for some that starts at 16, others are still young at heart at 30! So how can you tell? is there such a thing as immaturity in relationships that could be seen as disordered?

[nylonsquid]

What I feel separated my exgf from others is her capacity for delusion. I've met enough immature people, or ones with skewed conviction but the extreme irrationality, jealousy, and being able to rationalize what is clearly illogical actions on her part after giving her EXTREME patience, freedom, understanding and love sends my exgf to pathological territory. How could one repay love with punishment with the conviction and mistaking of love for a threat/persecution?

It's hard for one to see through when you're in it because you've been 'monopolized through perception'. You're trying to reason her actions by understanding her perception which you will begin to justify or accept. Her perception becomes the more important and dominant one and yours will be secondary. Your own perception will be questioned. Once you've had enough you'll stop trying to understand her and start understanding yourself. Give yourself the things you give her for you deserve better.