BPD and identity

[VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?"]

Here's another thing I've been wondering about.  Are pwBPD attracted to people who have a strong sense of identity/purpose in their lives and then mirror them? Or do they go for people who have insecurities that they can manipulate.  My ex has recently completely changed his look... .  I find it somewhat disturbing actually, because knowing how he was with me, and now seeing him (albeit from a distance), I see someone who really doesn't know who he is and is trying to please/manipulate (I don't know which it is) someone by completely changing his style/look.  And now that I think about it, he once showed me a picture of himself and one of his exes, he had the same hairstyle as her! It really is strange how just through appearances, someone can completely alter who they "seem" to be.   It really does give the impression that things really aren't right with him.  Anyway, just something I've been thinking about since it strikes me as really odd.

[caughtnreleased]

Here's another thing I've been wondering about.  Are pwBPD attracted to people who have a strong sense of identity/purpose in their lives and then mirror them? Or do they go for people who have insecurities that they can manipulate.  My ex has recently completely changed his look... .  I find it somewhat disturbing actually, because knowing how he was with me, and now seeing him (albeit from a distance), I see someone who really doesn't know who he is and is trying to please/manipulate (I don't know which it is) someone by completely changing his style/look.  And now that I think about it, he once showed me a picture of himself and one of his exes, he had the same hairstyle as her! It really is strange how just through appearances, someone can completely alter who they "seem" to be.   It really does give the impression that things really aren't right with him.  Anyway, just something I've been thinking about since it strikes me as really odd.

[jrx]

There are others on the board who have far more insight into BPD. But I can say that mirroring an insecure person is something they will do naturally.