Hi. My wife has (I believe) undiagnosed BPD. We were in counselling 6 months ago, she stopped when the therapist highlighted inconsistencies in how she framed our situation and my wife felt ,betrayed'
Recently, I agreed to start an online course to help things, and she is connecting with what is being said and admitting that she knows she has a tendency to criticise and be sarcastic and want to stop.
Now, this is great news...but I have been so used to constant waves of criticism and accusations I just find it difficult to believe and feel like I can't let my guard down.
It may be genuine progress, but any tips from those who have seen actual change (or false dawns) is welcome. I'm so aware of not getting my hopes up and I feel weak for not trusting her intentions and the process.
Thanks
I don't know if it's a trap, but it might just be some more mind games to string you along, giving you hope that maybe things might improve at some point.
In my own marriage, on occasion, BPDxw would drop a "bomb" and admit she knew she was all wrong or at fault when we were in the depths of a fight. And we'd calm down and talk about that. But then like THE VERY NEXT DAY, she'd claim she never admitted anything, or I misheard her, or would just start yelling over me... anything to force her admission down the memory hole.