Off to therapy I marched, paid out of pocket and did the darn DBT.
What did you think of DBT?
Today psychologist tells me I am not "crazy" his words or BPD and that I love unconditionally but need to learn to quit relationships that aren't working sooner.
I might suggest altering this advice a bit... .for a "stayer".
I think that many stayers have made unhealthy choices or compromises (before learning about BPD) out of "fear" of what will happen to the r/s. Making decisions out of fear is generally not a good thing to do in life. Making decisions out of fear in a r/s... .is bad. In a r/s with pwBPD traits... .it's disastrous... .
So... I would modify that statement to say that people on the staying board need to quit making unhealthy decisions about their r/s with the full knowledge that their partner may choose to leave the r/s. Most likely the partner that displays BPD traits will not leave... .but that is a chance... .and that is their choice. We need to send them staying signals... .without any "static" or distractions... .what they choose to do with those signals is their business.
Once you can detach yourself a bit to be able to make the a choice such as this... .you now have power back on your side in a r/s. That power will build confidence even more/
Last week he told me I wasn't co-dependent or I wouldn't have stood up for my core values and would still be in the relationship. So I am feeling a bit better but admittedly pretty sad. He says I am supposed to.
This is good. How do you feel about your core values? Can you identify them... .talk about them... explain why the are core values?