Completely frustrated with BFF

[DearBFF]

Yesterday BFF invited my daughter and I over to spend the night as we had last week. I have been so thankful that she is really trying to give the girls some time together weekly.  She still works at a barn doing shift some AMs and PMs weekly, she has lessons throughout the day and just picked up extra work trimming trees in between. She has a very busy schedule, but sometimes has days that are almost completely free allowing wide open time for all four of us to hang out. Today was supposed to be that day.

Yesterday afternoon my daughter and I were supposed to meet up with her and her daughter at their house at about 5pm. I have been given back my key and she said to just let ourselves in, but before we left she called to ask if I could pick up her daughter on the way. (A coworker and sister to the guy she is currently dating was watching her, but had to go to work.) It was indeed on our way and saw no harm in it. So we picked her up and after a text that she would be closer to 6pm than 5pm we decided to stop by the store to get dinner fixings. By 6 I was halfway done cooking but she wasn't back yet so I texted,  then she said 7pm.

No idea when she finally came home, the girls had finished eating. We sat, ate, talked, then we sat for a bit after I put the girls in pjs to watch a movie. Usually her daughter passes out 5 minutes into the movie and then my munchkin does something she enjoys more like reading a book or playing on her gameboy. Unfortunately she didn't fall asleep for over 2 hours and by then it was in the 5 minutes I walked out of her mom's room. I came back to find them snuggled up and passed out even after her mom told her she was going to sleep in her own bed in her own room with my daughter, since they were having a sleepover.

Munchkin was upset her friend ditched her and I ended up sleeping with her in BFF's daughter's bed/room, after talking to hubby on the phone whom I could have been home with. I make it a point not to sleep with munchkin as it makes for an unrestful night of sleep. I got max 4 hours maybe and have found myself nodding off all day. BFF got up at 6am, came to our bed for a bit (fell back asleep), then got ready and left for work. She had morning shift and a lesson at 8:30am, yet said she wouldn't be back until 11:30am. I saw her taking extra shirts which she only does when she is doing the tree trimming job but she mentioned nothing about it.

I sent a text at about 11 and she said she would be much later than originally planned. She said she had to finish a tree trimming job she didn't plan on having to do (yet she took extra shirts to do it) and said she wouldn't be back until 2-3, going back to 2.5 hours late yesterday I am guessing that means about 5pm. She did not leave her daughter's car seat so we are stuck here or I risk a $200 ticket and safety of course.

I texted at 3pm and just heard back asking if we want to go to dinner at 4pm. I am nodding off and have basically wanted to go home since last night, so I said no. She said I can just take them to my house and she'll pick her up there, but from past experience then there is no telling when she will come get her (she has even left her overnight before instead of coming 5 get her). I thought we were doing so well recently,  and I am so thankful the girls are getting to see each other, but I do not feel good right now.

Oddly enough last night she gave me a bit of a lecture about a mutual friend of ours saying that I was being taken advantage of, yet she doesn't see this as the same. I feel misled, lied to and very taken advantage of; glad I didn't have anywhere important to be. Bummed... .

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

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[DearBFF]

And as always just when I feel like I'm at the brink... .she somehow shines a light and let's me know she still cares.  I was way off with my 5pm estimate even though she said 2-3pm.  She messaged at about 3:15 asking if I wanted to do a dinner date at 4pm at a nearby restaurant.  I said I wasn't feeling up to it and I'm glad I did as 4pm came and went, as did 5pm, 6pm and 7pm around which I got a message starting she was close to getting her car (she rode with the others and therefore couldn't leave until they were done anyway).  I estimated her return at about 7:30 the latest, but we didn't end up seeing her until 8:30pm, by which point I had already loaded the car and munchkin was so ready to leave as was I.  She was disappointed, but understanding as I needed to get munchkin home to bed and honestly after a 12 hour day stuck at her house watching her munchkin and pets we were just done.  She apologized, gave us long hugs and promised to make it up to us soon.  At about 10pm I heard her special text message tone and picked up my phone to see what was up.  I found one of the sweetest messages she has ever sent me about how grateful she is to have me and how appreciative.  I called her in tears and thanked her for the beautiful message, she thanked me for all I had done for her over the last 24 hours.  She's not perfect, but I love her.  I'm not perfect, but she's been way more forgiving and hasn't completely shut me out again since last time (and says she won't but I know I can't be sure of that).  Our girls have gotten together almost weekly and she is really making an effort.  She's having a very hard time of it now, and her new job of just a few months is again on the rocks.  I'm trying to be there however I can, but not rescue, and will try not to put myself in situations again that make me feel unappreciated/used.  We're learning bit by bit, I'm just grateful she's learning right along with me so we can become better friends.  She says she hopes one day that I can say I am grateful for her too, but I can already say I am so grateful for her trying and telling me how much she appreciates me.  It means the world... .