Thank you so much for your kind and insightful points Notwendy.
I’m in my thirties and my mother in her mid fifties. She has been living alone for the past 6 years. She has an On again off again relationship with a man idk if she would call him her boyfriend. She Was homeless for a time but i helped her find and get housing multiple times over the years. Helped her find resources like financial aid, social programs and resources for mental health therapy. Last of what I know is that she was still getting therapy but I think only because if she didn’t she wouldn’t get financial assistance and that she has a place to live and is attending religious services trying to better herself.
When I decided to go no contact last year I didn’t tell her I just didn’t it. I was overthinking what to say and thought that it probably doesn’t matter what I say so I just did what was best for me and it has been such an incredible healing. So much progress I’ve made. So when she showed up it just struck me feeling crappy all day Questioning myself old feelings of anxiety anger guilt and shame. Thank you for that point about boundaries being on me. I feel like sending the text would make me feel better because I can know that I clearly let her know my boundaries and how I feel. And that showing up to my house unannounced is not ok. I understand because we live in a small city I will inevitably run into to her but like I mentioned that hasn’t been an issue because up until now she wouldn’t approach me or say anything and I would just carry on about my day but that doesn’t make me feel good it’s awkward uncomfortable and I feel shame and guilt so I’m planning on moving I think it’s the best thing for me. I’m just not sure if I should include in the message I will she her my feelings of love and appreciation that she did the best she could and that I wish her the best in life but for now I need my space and time and I will reach out when and if I’m ever ready.