i really think it's futile to say whether a pwBPD is a psychopath or not. to me they are psychotic at times and other times not. if they were psychotic all the time then i'd call them that. my ex was high functioning and i feel at times her emotions were real towards me and others. yet, when the isht hit the fan she was absolutely narcissistic/psychotic/entitled. there's no discrepancy in my mind anymore i just accept that she's a part time psycho(tic).
below is a quote from a young borderline; i'd hate to be her boyfriend. she exhibits remorse, a desire to change, and an inability to stop cheating on her bf. i'm sure she's straight up psychotic with her bf sometimes and other times she wonders why she is. other pwBPD seem to concur:
I Have Borderline Personality Disorder
Bpd Has Ruined The Best Relationship Of My Life
I have BPD and like all of you, live in hell. I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years, although he broke up with me last night after another one of my incidents. Growing up I had been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, which in the past year (I'm 21) I have discovered with my therapist and with agreement from my psychiatrist was a misdiagnosis. I then found out I had BPD. Along with everything that comes with BPD, the anger, the uncontrollable intense fear of being alone and the abandonement... etc. etc. , the biggest problem is the impulsivity to always leave behind the amazing bf I had when some new and excited offer was made to me. Not only have I emotionally cheated on him 6 times ( 4 with the same person and 2 recently with another) , and fantasized about being with these guys, I have also intentionally gone out and cheated on him physically twice. I know the triggers, every time I feel hurt or vulnerable, the impulses take over and I give in. What I want to know is how to STOP them! He has given me endless chances and he says this is it, he's done. BPD has taken over the last part of my life that mattered to me. It has destroyed all friendships because of my anger and inability to see people as "both good and bad" . If you **** me off, you're nothing but hated by me. I can't lose the only thing I care about, what can I start to do now to prevent these impulses? HELP!
www.experienceproject.com/stories/Have-Borderline-Personality-Disorder/2109971To me you can learn much about BPD by reading the stories they tell themselves, amongst themselves. It's why i always laugh to myself when I hear people claim that pwBPD don't know what they're doing (perhaps they can't control it all the time) or don't mean to hurt people. It's easy to find stories they tell to refute such claims. I've learned it's easiest with BPD to not try and say the person is all this, or all that because it changes, especially if they are high functioning they can often be cool if they aren't threatened. Likewise they aren't these innocent, unaware victims always deserving compassion either. Depends on how they are acting in the moment i suppose. They absolutely can be abusive monsters. Don't make excuses for them. They can also be understanding and compassionate outside the realm of idealization if they feel safe. But if you are an ex or you know them too well, you don't see the good side much, if any, more.
p.s. yes the original article posted absolutely resonated with much of my ex's behaviors as well. not all but much of it rings a bell. i wasn't aware of this until after the split though... .kind of wasn't even a thought to me until i (correctly) lost all trust in her, then it became a bit clearer.