BPD substance abuse

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

The expwBPD was not an alcoholic or a druggie, but it often seemed to me like she would use substances at inopportune times.  Such as drinking some shots or putting bailey's in her coffee and taking it in to work with her, or taking several narcotic pain pills before going out to the lake.  These are just the times I saw her doing this stuff, I'm sure there were other times she did it without my knowledge if her substance use was anything like the relationship.  I don't know for sure the reason that apparently a lot of BPD's use or abuse substances, but my geuss is that they are making an attempt to mask/cover or block their emotional pain. 

[ScotisGone74]

The expwBPD was not an alcoholic or a druggie, but it often seemed to me like she would use substances at inopportune times.  Such as drinking some shots or putting bailey's in her coffee and taking it in to work with her, or taking several narcotic pain pills before going out to the lake.  These are just the times I saw her doing this stuff, I'm sure there were other times she did it without my knowledge if her substance use was anything like the relationship.  I don't know for sure the reason that apparently a lot of BPD's use or abuse substances, but my geuss is that they are making an attempt to mask/cover or block their emotional pain. 

[elessar]

probably. we will never understand how much pain they are in.

[ScotisGone74]

I believe this also helps them to have another tool to blame things on as well instead of taking responsibility for themselves.  Then if they can talk their partner into doing whatever substance  they can totally skew our reality-ie well you drunk thats not what happened.  Many avenues for BPDs to use this as an aid. 

[Findingmysong723]

My Ex Boyfriend was a recovering alcoholic and drug addict, so when I saw signs of impulsiveness and anger issues it was the symptoms that linger after someone stops that behavior. I thought since he doesn't have alcohol to deal with his emotions, that this was to be expected, but it got worse not better. So, after learning about Borderline personality, I see that he has so many of those traits. His issues probably were from a mixture of both. I know he used the alcohol and drugs to cope, so he could feel better. It sucks so much that he has this much pain and trying to love him just made me have pain!

I've been reading some information about the importance of diagnosing people with borderline traits earlier, as in when the symptoms start to show which in some are in their early teens. Diagnosing these teenagers earlier would get them into therapy/treatment earlier and they could start healing much sooner. I hope that it happens soon! Even if the teenagers end up not having Borderline, giving these kids therapy for similar personality traits and helping them deal with them in a healthy way would be a good thing no matter the diagnosis!

[Findingmysong723]

Just thinking if my Ex had gotten the help earlier, when he was having all the issues with drinking and drugs someone in school or whatever could of helped him into counseling at school. Then put him into therapy or even better, got therapy after seeing his Dad (was an alcoholic) abuse his Mom... .   that would of been good! It makes me mad, because I believe he is a good person with a wonderful heart that just doesn't know how to love or be loved. It just sucks!

[Rocknut]

My ex was addicted to marijuana(yes thats possible)

he would spend 200$ a week or more on marijuana becausehe said "he had to feel numb"

[GreenMango]

Not every person with BPD has substance abuse problems.  Self-harming or inappropriate coping skills are pretty common.  Self medicating, while isn't only pwBPD, makes for a pretty rocky relationship.  It can be other risky things - gambling, other addictions, etc. 

Extreme ways to soothe - cutting. 

I wouldn't say mine had a drug of choice, just any drug in the vicinty would do.   Mostly it came during times of stress, anxiety, or depression.  It didn't help.  When someone has poor coping skills and is impulsive they soothe themselves in ways other people don't.  Where you are able to talk yourself through things, pick healthier methods (exercise, relax, hang with friends) someone with BPD accelerates fast with poor brakes. 

[Findingmysong723]

My Ex tried to deal with his stress in different ways. When the weather got nicer, he started running again. He had enjoyed running in the past, and it helped improve his moods and feel better about himself. My Ex boyfriend also did like to eat healthy, he knew what to eat and what would be best for his body. However when stressed or depressed he would start to eat badly. My Ex also medicated himself with food by

over eating, his Mom also does that. He told me once that he would feel empty inside and that food made him feel less empty or something like that. Basically, without drugs or alcohol he needed something else to use to cope. My Ex also told me that he did drugs but started drinking because the drugs weren't helping him cope enough and the alcohol helped him more.

It was ironic how I never did any drugs and I don't drink, I remember my ex saying that it was funny how different were. Although, he admired me that I didn't have to use drugs or drinking to try to fit in.

[Findingmysong723]

* we were

[atcrossroads]

My ex was addicted to marijuana(yes thats possible)

he would spend 200$ a week or more on marijuana becausehe said "he had to feel numb"

Me too!