Believe it or not, a third one in a row. It got to the point where I just laugh and cannot believe this.
There is something wrong in me and through extensive reading and insight through on-off therapies I believe it must have something to do with trying to 'fix' my mother.
I won't get into any details but I'm just going to say that if something looks like it's fairytale and that you have met your soulmate - it's probably not true. They seem to operate based on the same handbook - idealization, devaluation, lying, manipulation, promiscuity, lack of impulse control, temper tantrums, cheating, gaslighting, double life.
They are the architects of their own worst fear (abandonment). Emotionally absent or too catering, objectifying mother, a lack of a strong paternal figure.
As much as you want to help or wish to remain strong - any sign of weakness or imperfection is going to be misinterpreted and used against you.
Do not ignore the red flags, do not let the amazing sex blind you. Trust your initial instinct and run.
Yeah, don't beat yourself up too much though. Sometimes there's no reason for something other than bad luck.
The comments about your mother are something to look into - with a professional therapist of course - but does that explain all your relationships?
I just read an article about new research into the definition of "psychopath" or "sociopath"... and the researcher felt that whereas the estimates are currently that male psychopaths far outnumber female psychopaths, the real ratio was closer to 1/1 and it was just that the criteria used to diagnose the condition typically emphasized physical violence, which was more common among men than women. In his view, female psychopaths should also include those who use emotional and/or verbal abuse, which was far more prevalent.
And the article cited the statistic that up to 23% of the population could be "disordered" or "on the spectrum"... if not actual psychopaths, then very verbally, physically & emotionally abusive, dishonest and manipulative, such that they weren't capable of forming healthy relationships with those around them. That's a lot of people!
I'm not saying this to imply you shouldn't work on yourself and really consider why you might have found yourself in such relationships multiple times. But it's possible that you just happened to meet bad people and bad times. Don't beat yourself up or avoid other potentially good relationships because you feel there's something wrong with you.
