how do I find a good therapist for ME

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

As a spouse of a BPD, I am looking for a therapist to help ME in dealing with his behaviors and deciding if I should stay or go. There are hundreds of therapists to choose from... .   how do I find a good one that is well versed in the issues of BPD and the effect on the spouse?

[mrshyde]

As a spouse of a BPD, I am looking for a therapist to help ME in dealing with his behaviors and deciding if I should stay or go. There are hundreds of therapists to choose from... .   how do I find a good one that is well versed in the issues of BPD and the effect on the spouse?

[Take2]

This is something I have been struggling to find for quite a while.  I have been going to a therapist  I was referred to by my dr who knows about my exbf-BPD.  But I think my therapist would agree with me that I know almost as much about BPD as she does - what I'm struggling with is that I don't think she has offered or maybe she does not have enough experience with helping abuse victims truly focus on themselves and moving forward.  I wish I had an answer for you, I think contacting a local crisis/abuse center might  actually be a good place to ask for a referral.  I am considering doing this as well.

[mrshyde]

I had a therapist who knew a lot about BPD... .  in fact she was the one who initially made me realize that was what I was dealing with. However, I think her experience has been with pretty severe cases. My husband is pretty high functioning... .  and her advice was pretty extreme... .  

[Take2]

Can you share some of her advice?  I think my on/off ex is pretty extreme yet also very high functioning.

If that makes any sense... .   

[Clearmind]

Psychology Today - Find a Therapist

Helps to call and ask some questions to see if they are a good fit for you.

[Wrongturn1]

You might look up a local dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) center and ask one of the counselors who they would suggest for a "non" dealing with a BPD spouse.  :)BT practitioners deal with BPD all the time and might have some good ideas on this.

[briefcase]

I called the local mental health hospital and told them I thought I was married to someone with BPD and asked them to recommend good therapists for me.  I got a great one that way.

[artman.1]

I went through about ten years and six different therapists off and on during that time.  I never understood any of this, and the Therapists just wanted to sit and listen to me during each visit.  I realized I could get just as much help sitting in a corner and talking to the walls in front of me.  I started asking what they had to say about my issues, and these people were clueless even worse than me.  I finally found one therapist that said he was not qualified to deal with my problem and referred me to a large clenic that I had gone to before and got someone else that was clueless.  Well this time they gave me a Therapist that actually facilitates DBT clenics and works with BPDs.  He told me to read "I Hate You, Don't Leave Me", and "Codependent No More".  After reading these, he said I was codependent, and my UBPDW is a PWBPD.  I found this website from the books, and all the light bulbs came on.  It is too bad that I had to find out about this after nearly 45 years of Marriage to this woman.

    Now you see how it is done, so just don't waste time talking to someone who is clueless.  Ask for BPD help first!

Art