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Author Topic: feeling torn  (Read 352 times)
sunshinyday
Fewer than 3 Posts
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: separated
Posts: 1


« on: September 10, 2020, 11:59:35 AM »

I've been with my husband for almost 4 years and his BPD traits of lying have ruined our relationship. He chose to lead a double life, hiding the truth about his past, family, even his wife for the first year!

I've become my own personal PI. He never comes clean, even when confronted. This leaves me with no resolve or trust.

I'm torn between loving the man I thought he was/is and hating the man that could create such havoc in my life.

Has anyone made it through such things?

He had a crisis recently when I asked for a divorce.

Now he's begun DBT treatment, taking new meds and it seems to be working for him. He's much calmer and rational.

He wants to reconcile. I left him because I couldn't live my life "waiting for the next bomb to drop." Discovering his lies...

Do BPD people really change?



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This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

pursuingJoy
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Inlaw
Posts: 1389



« Reply #1 on: September 10, 2020, 02:54:05 PM »

Welcome to BPDFamily, sunshinyday  Welcome new member (click to insert in post)

It sounds like you've been through a lot in the past few years. Wow.

People with BPD can learn new ways of relating. It sounds like he's invested in DBT therapy which is great.

Here are some success stories if you want to check them out:
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=113820.0
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jaysea22

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What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 16


« Reply #2 on: September 14, 2020, 08:15:39 PM »

Is lying a trait of BPD? To an extent of living a double life? If so, why?
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