Things have become too confusing

[Foursome]

I divorced my uBPDw in February.

I went no contact in the attempt to heal from what was a tuff go at it.

She kept trying to reconnect with me over and over.  I slipped up a few times.

She even got in another relationship to make me jealous.  That lasted three days.

Now we are hanging out again and talking.  We are both in therapy although she doesnt really want to admit whats wrong with her.  Maybe she cant!

I know she loves me.  I really always knew that.  I also have come to learn I reacted to her in the most unhealthy of ways.

I just didnt understand what was going on in her mind and took it too personally.

She wants very much to reconcile and of course I do too.  I am just still so confused and dont know what to do.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Mutt]

Hi Foursome,

I am just still so confused and dont know what to do.

Can you give us specifics? Where’s the confusion?

[Foursome]

Confused as to whether or not I should take her back. Whether or not we can actually make this work.

[Foursome]

I cannot sleep or eat anything.  The anxiety is so overwhelming at times I feel like checking into the hospital.

I have never experienced pain like this in my whole 45 year life.  I can have her anytime I want.  Thats never been an issue.  I truly believe she loves me... .but she is ill.  Im not sure how much longer I can stay upright at the moment.

[GD39]

I cannot sleep or eat anything.  The anxiety is so overwhelming at times I feel like checking into the hospital.

I have never experienced pain like this in my whole 45 year life.  I can have her anytime I want.  Thats never been an issue.  I truly believe she loves me... .but she is ill.  Im not sure how much longer I can stay upright at the moment.

I wish I had a word of advice, but all I have is one of support. I share your feelings exactly. Not as far as hospitalization, but I reconnected with my ex this weekend and she said she wanted for us to get help, now silence. I love her with all my heart, but the pain is too intense to keep on going through it at her whim. If she doesn't follow through by this weekend as promised, which she most likely will not since her promises are as a good as three dollar bill, I will block all her communication ability with me. Not because I am done with her, it is just self-preservation. I rather have the time for me to heal without her interference that to go with this back and forth situation.

[once removed]

We are both in therapy although she doesnt really want to admit whats wrong with her. 

hi Foursome,

its okay to be confused. no big decisions need to be made right at this moment, right?

im very curious, how is it going with the therapist? how long have you been seeing them, and what is their take on the situation?

[Foursome]

So far only one visit.  Next one is tomorrow.  I think it wont do anything but help but stuff like that at least to me takes time.

I need some immediate relief.  I would have thought they might put me on some kind of anti anxiety med but she didn't mention it at all so I didn't either.

I do feel much better atm.  For some reason I looked through my bible for scripture that dealt with anxiety and by the time I was done looking into that ... .about 20 minutes it was gone.

That is very comforting to me.

[once removed]

how is it going, Foursome? how did the next therapist visit go?