Had enough... went n/c for first day... frantic call... yikes

[Greengorn]

It was time to get off the roller coaster.  He had been seeing another guy several times a week and last Friday told me he was going to have a large course dinner... .this was usually my time.  I decided to go N/C the next day, and did not answer his calls.  The calls flooded in more and more as the day went on.  All my friends told me to "stay strong" but as night rolled in, a trusted friend told me to take his call (while I was talking to her).  He was frantic.  I explained that I had had enough, that I was hurt, and that I didn't want to answer the phone.  He went off the deep end.  He told me that he had worried the whole day that something had happened, that it was over and I should drop off his things ... .the whole experience left me shaking. I was the one who was hurting and he managed to turn it all around and make himself the victim.  Now I feel bad that I went N/C so quickly AND that I answered the phone... .I couldn't go on with all the affairs and had had enough... .now I feel awful... .again... .not sure how I should have better handled this... .   

[dontknow2]

I am sorry you are being hurt. When such strong emotions are at play, sometimes 'the best we have' to handle these situations has to be good enough. Maybe you need some distance from the hurt before you will know next steps.

[heartandwhole]

Hi Greengorn,

I'm sorry you had to go through that, it's painful, and hard to know what to do when we are hurting so much.   Please be gentle with yourself about how you handled the situation.   

How are you doing today?  Have you spoken to your partner?

Hang in there.  We're here for you.