Bomb shell ..really need some support

[Idsrvt2]

Hell all,
I don't know what to make of what I found out... .
Basically my x told all that very personal stuff to someone he barely knew a day
The rape , the hanging, the abuse ... .how he's transgender and even showed pics of him dressed as a woman and lots more

For four years my x never mentioned any of it to me until we became a couple

I can't post details because I promised thus person I wouldn't divulge what they told me... .at one point we were completing each others sentences with stuff about my x

Basically the good old post office is afraid of my x because he's transgender or allegedly trans... .he can call out and do as he pleases ... nothing is done

Also blames others and causes drama

Now I don't know if I should be proud that for four years my boundaries must have been ok that he didn't reveal all that to me instantly ... .it's odd.

I'm stunned , shocked and just I dunno what to feel.  
I'm thankful it was shared with me and this person claims my x has not mentioned me... .I doubt that .  
Supposedly he was once fearful of an x because she's a sprinter... .

This is pure manipulation the person telling me this isnlike me... .a nice empathetic person... .
This is beyond anything I can get my mind around
He even mentioned he was upset his guns were taken ... .that was due to the RO of course

This person said to be just be happy with you and you don't need that toxicity as he likes to cause and create drama .
This person almost reported him on day one and I wish he had this stuff is serious.

I have the power to do it... .I'm gaining more info... .all the neighbors do not like him ... lots of complaints.

This is really twisted ... .I mean was I played? Is this just lines he tells people to get a reaction from them... .he even knew about the shower curtain

He knows all I do
My x studies astrology... .like it's the Bible he knows what signs are sensitive etc ... .

I should write a book this stuff really is becoming great material

I feel hurt , and I'm no longer going to avoid my x... .it's all just drama what he is doing... .if he's so afraid of me he's still delivering .

I'm thankful that this person was so open with me... .but I'm hurt that I never was special... the stuff he shared he readily shares

Oh and the trans thing he said he was too old... .yet he told me he wanted to be her, and hisnprofile even says it

My x needs serious mental help

[patientandclear]

I understand why that hurts. One of the most mindblowing aspects of this experience for me was registering that what went on with us, which for me was a  nearly once in a lifetime experience--what I shared, how open I was--was routine for him. But he made it seem unique. Once I realized he regularly makes women feel that way, the bloom was sort of off the rose, in the sense that his approach was no longer effective. I could see the machinery at work, if that makes sense. I'm sorry; it is a very disorienting feeling.

[Idsrvt2]

Thank you for replying. Same here I was very open with him and he understood health issues I have that I never shared so openinly and he worked with me with them... .he would even carry me up the stairs etc,
What gets me is how he openly shared about his alleged rape on day one of his job... .yet used that to feel me back in saying he was fearful I would find out the truth, maybe he thought I would talk to the other guy or someone would tell me... .
I can't go back in time but I wish I talked during that protection order

I feel so strange today like nothing was real ... .it's all an act and part of his delusional mind ... .supposedly I was never mentioned ... .but I think he's just being nice and not telling me... .it's good I get to talk to someone he also manipulated though and still does ... .it's good to know he does this to even people he works with.

I think my x must get RO on all xs this is how it ends... .he's supposedly reclusive... .I don't even believe that any longer because he did not mention that to the person he works with... .it's like it was all just one big act
I hope he works today and then part of me hopes he doesn't

His mine is very warped... .he has his bosses wrapped around his finger yet got an RO because I threatened him
He claims he has no connections with people yet talks to coworkers

He's sicker than I even imagined and I have this odd feeling he will talk to me again and I think that's why the universe has given me all this info .

I understand why that hurts. One of the most mindblowing aspects of this experience for me was registering that what went on with us, which for me was a  nearly once in a lifetime experience--what I shared, how open I was--was routine for him. But he made it seem unique. Once I realized he regularly makes women feel that way, the bloom was sort of off the rose, in the sense that his approach was no longer effective. I could see the machinery at work, if that makes sense. I'm sorry; it is a very disorienting feeling.

[Imnolngeralive]

I'm so sorry you are going through this b.s. Does it ever stop?  The rules or life and the universe are not supposed to be this way.  What you put in, is what you are supposed to take out.  How can these people do these things and still sleep at night?  It's like living in the twilight zone.  Remember the episode with the pig people?  That's how I feel.  Like everyone is normal and I'm the crazy one.  I don't know what to do to even try to get myself together so I can relate fully to what you feel.  It's like having your soul ripped out of you but still somehow being alive.  So many times I would wake up in the morning hoping it was a very bad dream... .but it's not, it's reality.  It happened.  One of the last things I told her was she made my wildest dreams come true (came back to recycle) and then my worst nightmare come true (she left again and got mad because I questioned it).  I asked her if she was really doing this to me, please just say goodbye so I can move on... .she said she would never say goodbye but don't ever call her again.  5 minutes later she texted me the lyrics to Tracey Chapman's The promise.  Read the lyrics when you get a chance.  Hang in there.  They say time heals all wounds.  We will see.

[Idsrvt2]

As predicted he's back working today... .so dead silence and being ignored like I never even existed ... .I thought I was strong but between my health now worse from an exam I had Tuesday and him being back I can't take this ... .

I'm a strong person... .but this is really getting tough
Someone said it's just a few min of my day well to me it's not it's the fact I no longer exist and it all was fake

[Idsrvt2]

That's how I feel... .I feel like I must be crazy ... I mean people seem to think my x telling them about his alleged rape on day one of a job is ok... .I wish he had reported it this is not normal. 
I remember that pig episode ... I feel like I'm just loosing my mind
My x once said during our second mini breakup that I would see just how much he really suffers one day and that what he is doing will haunt him for life and I'm probably the last chance at a relationship he has 
Then the last breakup he said mean things and I texted too much and he took out a RO after msg me he was going in peace... .
how he walks by me is insane ... .most breakups you can still be civil you see someone you say hello or atleast have one check in period with them... .
He also had texted he still feels for me and the pain I'm in but filed a police report on me for contacting his mom

The post office could have made this simple but he's allowed to do what he wants

Some days I feel like msg him where the heck are my packages going when it rains ... .or when it's cold etc... .he won't come on my porch .

How long have you been out from your x?

I'm so sorry you are going through this b.s. Does it ever stop?  The rules or life and the universe are not supposed to be this way.  What you put in, is what you are supposed to take out.  How can these people do these things and still sleep at night?  It's like living in the twilight zone.  Remember the episode with the pig people?  That's how I feel.  Like everyone is normal and I'm the crazy one.  I don't know what to do to even try to get myself together so I can relate fully to what you feel.  It's like having your soul ripped out of you but still somehow being alive.  So many times I would wake up in the morning hoping it was a very bad dream... .but it's not, it's reality.  It happened.  One of the last things I told her was she made my wildest dreams come true (came back to recycle) and then my worst nightmare come true (she left again and got mad because I questioned it).  I asked her if she was really doing this to me, please just say goodbye so I can move on... .she said she would never say goodbye but don't ever call her again.  5 minutes later she texted me the lyrics to Tracey Chapman's The promise.  Read the lyrics when you get a chance.  Hang in there.  They say time heals all wounds.  We will see.

[Idsrvt2]

I remember now I replied to your post ... .I talked to my x daily for four years prior ... sometimes he was the only person I spoke to... .
I just read the chapman lyrics it's like she won't let you go... but doesn't want you either.l.lpush pull

How do they live knowing what they do