Too much control

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

I've been married for 52 years. The first 20 years were OK (tolerable).  My wife started to get very religious - Pentecostal. Religious to the point of addiction. BPD atttributes got more obvious. Other than the BPD challenges, I have to deal with financial issues - I fund all household expenses while she refuses to pay for anything, her money is given to religious organizations from the over $500,000 she has.

BPD wise: I'm subject to accusations of affairs, lies about me, negativism, verbal abuse, control of my activities.  There is much more to detail- another time.

Being 79 years old, I regret not leaving decades ago.  Likely too late now.

[Organgrinder]

I've been married for 52 years. The first 20 years were OK (tolerable).  My wife started to get very religious - Pentecostal. Religious to the point of addiction. BPD atttributes got more obvious. Other than the BPD challenges, I have to deal with financial issues - I fund all household expenses while she refuses to pay for anything, her money is given to religious organizations from the over $500,000 she has.

BPD wise: I'm subject to accusations of affairs, lies about me, negativism, verbal abuse, control of my activities.  There is much more to detail- another time.

Being 79 years old, I regret not leaving decades ago.  Likely too late now.

[Larmoyant]

It's never to late to dream a new dream Organgrinder. Welcome to BPD family.   

[Lucky Jim]

Hey Organgrinder, What has kept you in it for 52 years?  Presumably you get something out of your marriage.  What would you like to see happen?  No, I don't think it's too late to make changes for the better, if you are ready.  LuckyJim

[FiveForFighting]

I've been married for 52 years. The first 20 years were OK (tolerable).  My wife started to get very religious - Pentecostal. Religious to the point of addiction. BPD atttributes got more obvious. Other than the BPD challenges, I have to deal with financial issues - I fund all household expenses while she refuses to pay for anything, her money is given to religious organizations from the over $500,000 she has.

Welcome Ogrinder... .interesting point you make here. Pentecostal wife. I have an uBPDw and I am interested how she treats you as opposed to folks in the church. She probably is very cordial, amenable etc. to folks at the church but treats you differently. My wife will sometimes pull out scripture to study on or talk with our kids about but will act in complete contradiction to the scripture we just got done going over. She will also use scripture to lecture me on my role as a leader and head of the household and how she is not meant to lead but would never relinquish control. In order for someone to lead, there needs to be followers and an vacant position. in other words, there cannot be someone already leading. Cant have 2 leaders; doesn't work well.
Anyway, I've been married 18 years and I understand your pain and hurt and confusion. We're here for you.

[Organgrinder]

I'm being treated for hypothyroidism, my doctor gave my dissected thyroid pills to take. I'm good with this treatment, however, BPD spouse "knows" my doctor was wrong and I shouldn't be taking, because they are different than she's taking. She refuses to acknowledge that she has a thyroid problem (which she does) and refuses to see her doctor, and hasn't for over 20 years, no blood tests either, (her doctor, according to her, knows nothing). Mrs. BPD has been haranguing me for over 30 days about the thyroid pills I'm taking. It's driving me crazy. I suggested we go for therapy. She refuses to because she doesn't need it, but says I do! It's seems strange to me that doctor's spend years in med school, training, and practise, and know nothing.

This on top of her addiction to fundamental religion is crazy making.

What to do?

Cheers, Bob (husband of Mrs. Knowitall)

[KateCat]

Welcome from another senior citizen, Mr. Grinder.

Maybe you can tell your wife that of the two Democratic candidates for the U.S. presidency in 2016 one was taking levothyroxine and the other was on NDT Armour Thyroid. Maybe she will be able to guess which was which. 

[Lucky Jim]

Hey Organgrinder, I went through the same thing w/my BPDxW.  She objected to me taking pills prescribed by my doctor and flushed them down the toilet.  My Doctor gave me a new Rx and told me to keep all medications at my office!

LuckyJim