The two letters I wrote but didn't send

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

  just thought I'd share since this is a good outlet. It also doesn't seem like a good idea to send someone a letter based on feelings that eventually fade. Especially if they themselves suffer from a disorder; that seems cruel. The first one was when I was still in denial/attachment. Second is from today when the first pang of anger really arose. I feel so nasty. And especially pathetic for feeling the first letter. But it makes me feel like I'm crazy swinging from such extremes. I guess it comes with the territory.

X,

I hope everything is going well in your world. Congratulations on the second one - I remember how much you wanted a brother for X and it makes me happy to hear that you have one on the way.

Sorry for all the unnecessary suffering. If I had been open with my feelings I could have prevented that. I do think we learned a lot from each other and I don't regret us having met.

Regards--

Hey,

This might be selfish of me but I want to get it out of my system.

I just wanted to remind you what a petluant, heartless c*** you are. As for the f***boy you're with now, I pity him. I find it fitting he's stuck with a kid he didn't want in the first place while you search for someone slightly better off materially and easier to manipulate, to fill that dark void in your heart and soul. I'm thankful he's keeping you occupied so you stay as far as possible away from me. Maybe you'll get a taste of your own medicine. I realize this letter probably won't have any real effect on you, as you're too developmentally stunted to even realize the kind of chaos you left in your wake but its worth it if it makes you suffer even in the slightest. I sincerely hope things don't get better for you at all. I truly hope that on the day you take your last breath you somehow realize the ramifications of your actions throughout your miserable life. And I hope you carry that suffering into the next life and as far as possible after that.

Sincerely,

ds

[disorderedsociety]

  just thought I'd share since this is a good outlet. It also doesn't seem like a good idea to send someone a letter based on feelings that eventually fade. Especially if they themselves suffer from a disorder; that seems cruel. The first one was when I was still in denial/attachment. Second is from today when the first pang of anger really arose. I feel so nasty. And especially pathetic for feeling the first letter. But it makes me feel like I'm crazy swinging from such extremes. I guess it comes with the territory.

X,

I hope everything is going well in your world. Congratulations on the second one - I remember how much you wanted a brother for X and it makes me happy to hear that you have one on the way.

Sorry for all the unnecessary suffering. If I had been open with my feelings I could have prevented that. I do think we learned a lot from each other and I don't regret us having met.

Regards--

Hey,

This might be selfish of me but I want to get it out of my system.

I just wanted to remind you what a petluant, heartless c*** you are. As for the f***boy you're with now, I pity him. I find it fitting he's stuck with a kid he didn't want in the first place while you search for someone slightly better off materially and easier to manipulate, to fill that dark void in your heart and soul. I'm thankful he's keeping you occupied so you stay as far as possible away from me. Maybe you'll get a taste of your own medicine. I realize this letter probably won't have any real effect on you, as you're too developmentally stunted to even realize the kind of chaos you left in your wake but its worth it if it makes you suffer even in the slightest. I sincerely hope things don't get better for you at all. I truly hope that on the day you take your last breath you somehow realize the ramifications of your actions throughout your miserable life. And I hope you carry that suffering into the next life and as far as possible after that.

Sincerely,

ds

[SGraham]

Hey man its all about finding a creative outlet for those frustrations, no need to feel nasty or pathetic. I used to write these nasty rants in this journal that ended up sounding like Holden Caulfield with an anger management problem.

[FannyB]

DS

It's perfectly natural to have those feelings, and writing them down helps you to let off steam. 

You're right about it not being a good idea sending such a letter though. To the untrained eye, your condemnation of her could appear bitter and twisted - and play perfectly into her 'victim' narrative. 

I think if we do 'lose it' with a borderline and deliver some home truths, then it's better done verbally for the reasons stated above.


Fanny

[disillusionedandsore]

Thank you for sharing these DS,  I laughed so hard I cried. I particularly loved the line that starts with "I just wanted to remind you... ."

I can identify with both states, wanting to wish the ex well and wanting to expose

him and all his lies,  BS and deceit.

Sounds like you are working through the feelings well. This helped me.

[Yolanda123]

It really helps to write down our feelings. I myself wrote several letters to my exBPDbf. Just like yours, some were loving, wishing him well, and some were just angry ventings and telling him what an a***ole he's been to me. All these emotions we go through, from sadness to anger, are perfectly normal and it's good to process them and letting them out. Writing is a healthy way to do so.

I agree with most that sending the letters is not a good idea. But I guess just writing them and posting them here has helped you right?

Take care 

[Beach_Babe]

ill take Door #2 for $100 Bob.