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BPDFamily.com
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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
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Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting
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Topic: BPD Marriage/seperation (Read 406 times)
Lazerwolfe
Fewer than 3 Posts
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 2
BPD Marriage/seperation
«
on:
October 04, 2015, 09:11:59 AM »
I am in a marriage of 1 1/2 years. We have been seperated for 5 of those months. She has been diagnosed with BPD since then. Our therapist says she needs the space to work on herself, yet she insists I move back in. Who should I follow?
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enlighten me
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 3289
Re: BPD Marriage/seperation
«
Reply #1 on:
October 04, 2015, 10:11:40 AM »
Hi Lazerwolf
Welcome to the family.
Im sorry you are going through this.
Its difficult to say as both have benefits and both have pitfalls. What is your gut feeling on this?
It may be worthwhile posting on the staying board or the undecided. The leaving board is more for those where the relationship is over and they have either separated or in the process.
EM
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Mutt
Retired Staff
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Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Divorced Oct 2015
Posts: 10395
Re: BPD Marriage/seperation
«
Reply #2 on:
October 04, 2015, 03:36:54 PM »
Hi Lazerwolfe,
I'm sorry to hear that. Separation's tough.
Do you trust your T's advice?
She wants you to move back in, has she mentioned CBT, schema therapy, group therapy?
It helps to talk.
Hang in there,
----Mutt
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Lazerwolfe
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 2
Re: BPD Marriage/seperation
«
Reply #3 on:
October 08, 2015, 07:25:03 PM »
Thanks for the encouragement and advice. I struggle but I know others do too. I will continue using this site and hopefully I will be able to narrow down a decision.
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OnceConfused
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 4505
Re: BPD Marriage/seperation
«
Reply #4 on:
October 09, 2015, 08:59:45 PM »
With you being the trigger of her BPD, she will be hard pressed to change. It is like trying to lose weight but you live with a cook who makes cakes and steaks every night.
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unicorn2014
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Divorced
Posts: 2574
Re: BPD Marriage/seperation
«
Reply #5 on:
October 09, 2015, 11:13:26 PM »
Hi Lazer and welcome to the family! Do you trust your therapist? Do you think your therapist is qualified to treat a person with BPD? If yes, then I think it would be wise to follow your therapist's advice. A person with BPD will push and push to get what they want, but that might not be in the best interests of everyone involved. What do your instincts tell you?
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