Why cheat on some not others?

[merlin4926]

My exBPD had been single for over a yr when we got involved and had survived quite well living like a recluse.  We were together for a year but then he went off with the new love of his life.  Was that a reaction to us being close and how come he didn't do it when he was with this last girlfriend?

Mind yiu his new girlfriend is much more of a pushover than me.  I spent a long time keeping him at arms length she welcomed him with open arms - does this mean she won't last as long  as me or is the opposite? I know I shouldn't care .  I'm a lot stronger now and know I would NEVER take him back but still struggling with the whole closure issue

[tim_tom]

My guess... it's a matter of opportunity

[Recooperating]

How do you know for sure he was single for that long? He could have had women lined up. Sorry if Im quite negative, Im in anger mode... .But one thing I have learnt about my dBPDexbf, if he opened his mouth, he would lie... .Im sure my ex cheated more than I know about... .And he will continue to do so... .

[Hawk Ridge]

I have wondered the same thing.  She was with her b___y ex (according to my ex) for 5 years before she left my ex.  My ex and I got involved, remained together for 1.5 years with my ex cycling every three months, leaving me/recycling me one time before leaving before leaving me in March.  She's still with my replacement and it just kills me. Why are they still together?  Why was she with her ex so long?  When will I stop feeling this intense pain?  Why, if she has been contacting me since this summer, telling me she still loves me, isn't she back?  Why does my replacement get her for the holidays?  Painful yet rationally, I know my replacement has to, just has to, be on the receiving end of her emotional abuse.   The contradictions in my head are mind numbing.  You're not alone