Pot and the BPD/NPD

[casper324]

I've noticed in reading the boards that many of our SO's rely on pot or self medicate in other ways.  Now I'm not against Pot, trust me its helped my anxiety at times when things get really bad and I don't think it is harmful other then inhaling the smoke. However I didn't start using it until may late 20's and stopped until my mid 30's when I was having children, then indulged again pretty often since.   That said, I read something on the affect pot has on the brain when someone starts using in their teens due to the brain development which in their 40's-50's raises its ugly head in the way of mental issues.    A google search brought up many articles regarding using pot to help BPD but I'm wondering if early use actually can cause PD's. 

Opinions?   

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[atcrossroads]

Casper, again, same husband.

One of the final straws for our marriage was over my husband's incredibly excessive pot smoking.  Maybe it helped him in some ways - yes, it relieved anxiety, but he smoked a ridiculous amount and he it was his only way to cope.

I realize one could spend much more on cocaine or other drugs, but he smoked minimum 400 to 600 or so dollars worth a month. That's a lot of pot.  Even his pothead friends would say things to me like, "I don't know how anyone can smoke that much pot."  He didn't smoke before work, but any other chance on a daily basis.  It was his normal state, and he really didn't seem too different (and he's brilliant) even after taking bong hit after bong hit.

I hated it!  Yes, I smoked some in my teens and twenties, but we are in our 40's.  I couldn't have a friend stop by ever without prior planning because of fear of him being in house smoking it up.  And, I worked extra throughout our marriage and that extra money literally went up in smoke, and I allowed it.  I justified it as not being too bad, I ignored how much he really smoked and how much he spent.  

He did start in his teens, yes, but I think his heavy drug use and drinking were in college and his twenties.  I don't know how that affected his wiring.  When we met he was 30 and also would sneak and do cocaine.  We merged our accounts before marriage (we were living together) and suddenly checks were bouncing, and I was like wth?  I discovered he was driving an hour away to buy not only pot but cocaine.  We had HUGE fights, but again, I tolerated it and we married.

I think he would have done more serious drugs if he had money and access, but the pot became his crutch.  He couldn't go without it.  I firmly believe one reason he's so dysregulated now is because since he's been court ordered to pay full mortgage, he can no longer afford his pot.  

Interesting.  

That is a boundary for me for sure whenever I am healed enough to date again.  No druggies, even ones who can hold a job.  Smoking pot once or twice a year at a concert or with old friends is one thing, but chronic (no pun) use -- no way!  I will not be with someone who doesn't have coping mechanisms besides substances.