Hi Nitric,
I read through your post twice, and your original post. I'm so sorry you're going through this. This would be an awful lot of things for anyone to deal with. I can't say I've been in exactly the same shoes, but I can relate to some of the experiences and uncertainty.
Many of the thoughts and experiences have been shared by others here as well. You aren't alone in having those thoughts and feelings.
I hope you can take a deep breathe and realize you don't need to have all the answers today.
It really, really is concerning that he's taking actions that are seriously dangerous to you and your unborn child. For yourself and your child I hope you can perhaps come up with a plan for your safety.
These are some links about evaluating emotional abuse and Domestic Violence and has much information and tips.
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=61403.0We aren't supposed to advise others what to do, yet I can't help but say I hope you will strongly consider refusing to get into a car with him again at this point. At least until you are comfortable that things are in a better place either way.
You mentioned staying with family, do you feel supported through your family?
All of the things you said about trusting him and your feelings about not being over things yet are valid and many of us have had those feelings as well. I wonder though if those are things you can give yourself some time to figure out?
Also, the suicide threats. I wouldn't worry about him calling them on you if you feel the call needs to be made. There is information here that may help you:
https://bpdfamily.com/discussions/search-info3.htm#others I had to make a boundary well understood with my pwBPD on this issue. I sent him information for "soft help" mental health lines. I told him I'd do what I could to help him, but that I wasn't qualified for dealing with suicide threats and if he felt that badly and expressed a desire to harm himself I would need to call for help.
Others with more experience will probably have more to add, I just wanted to acknowledge your post and give what help I could.
Keep posting. It takes a little bit of time for responses when there's much to consider.
There's a lot of good reading on the right as well ---------->
I hope you are well.