Diagnosis + Treatment
The Big Picture
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? [ Video ]
Five Dimensions of Human Personality
Think It's BPD but How Can I Know?
DSM Criteria for Personality Disorders
Treatment of BPD [ Video ]
Getting a Loved One Into Therapy
Top 50 Questions Members Ask
Home page
Forum
List of discussion groups
Making a first post
Find last post
Discussion group guidelines
Tips
Romantic relationship in or near breakup
Child (adult or adolescent) with BPD
Sibling or Parent with BPD
Boyfriend/Girlfriend with BPD
Partner or Spouse with BPD
Surviving a Failed Romantic Relationship
Tools
Wisemind
Ending conflict (3 minute lesson)
Listen with Empathy
Don't Be Invalidating
Setting boundaries
On-line CBT
Book reviews
Member workshops
About
Mission and Purpose
Website Policies
Membership Eligibility
Please Donate
May 02, 2024, 06:38:23 PM
Welcome,
Guest
. Please
login
or
register
.
1 Hour
5 Hours
1 Day
1 Week
Forever
Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins:
Kells76
,
Once Removed
,
Turkish
Senior Ambassadors:
Cat Familiar
,
EyesUp
,
SinisterComplex
Help!
Boards
Please Donate
Login to Post
New?--Click here to register
Survey: How do you compare?
Adult Children Sensitivity
67% are highly sensitive
Romantic Break-ups
73% have five or more recycles
Physical Hitting
66% of members were hit
Depression Test
61% of members are moderate-severe
108
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
> Topic:
Advice Welcome - lessening the conflict between my BPDw and son
Pages: [
1
]
Go Down
« previous
next »
Print
Author
Topic: Advice Welcome - lessening the conflict between my BPDw and son (Read 908 times)
1002mbt
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 3
Advice Welcome - lessening the conflict between my BPDw and son
«
on:
July 24, 2013, 12:07:29 PM »
Hello,
First, a big thank you for all of the incredible insights on this website. I am so happy I have finally figured out what is troubling my family and now I have some brilliant ways to help myself and my family make progress, hopefully!. My wife has both BPD and ADHD and my 13 year old son has ADHD and may indeed have BPD too. They constantly fight. The pattern is typically my wife gets upset about something that is frustrating her (e.g. him lying around all day doing nothing during the summer) and he then feels criticized and calls her derogatory names. Many times the situation is explosive because she is yelling, or he feels criticized in front of his "perfect" brother who he is jealous of, or because pre-agreed boundaries are not consistently enforced by her (e.g daily limits on electronics). My historic approach would have been to try and solve the problem for her, which never worked and I now know is enabling. Now I just ignore the interchange which I know does not help to improve things. I suggested to her that she goes to meet with his therapist and tries to do some sessions with my son to brainstorm how to get out of this terrible cycle of negative interaction. I am fearful of getting involved because I might go back to the old ways of codependent enabling. I would be very grateful for any suggestions!
Many thanks!
Logged
PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES
This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.
bruceli
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 636
Re: Advice Welcome - lessening the conflict between my BPDw and son
«
Reply #1 on:
July 24, 2013, 02:01:45 PM »
DW has a S14 so I know the dynamic of which you speak. Have not figured it out either... . however... . what I have found is when W and S14 go at... . sometimes for days... . W and I usually form a unitd front... . atleast for awhile... . and the blackness gets lifted from me and put on S14. It becomes a short reprieve for me... . That's as far as I have gotten with this one... .
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?
Pages: [
1
]
Go Up
Print
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
> Topic:
Advice Welcome - lessening the conflict between my BPDw and son
« previous
next »
Jump to:
Please select a destination:
-----------------------------
Help Desk
-----------------------------
===> Open board
-----------------------------
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
-----------------------------
=> Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
=> Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting
=> Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
-----------------------------
Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD
-----------------------------
=> Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD
=> Parent, Sibling, or In-law Suffering from BPD
-----------------------------
Community Built Knowledge Base
-----------------------------
=> Library: Psychology questions and answers
=> Library: Tools and skills workshops
=> Library: Book Club, previews and discussions
=> Library: Video, audio, and pdfs
=> Library: Content to critique for possible feature articles
=> Library: BPDFamily research surveys
Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife
Loading...