Daughter with BPD, attempted suicide, in hospital

[Parents! Get help here!]

My young adult daughter has BPD and is on meds and has had some therapy. She is married and has a child. She and her family are living with me. Her husband and she fight frequently and in very unhealthy ways. My house has experienced damage as a result of the episodes. Yesterday they had another argument and her husband tried to leave. It was a bad scene that ended with my daughter overdosing on her medications. She is in the hospital and I do not know when she will be released. Neither I or her son were home when this happened. She is not communicating with me so I do not know what is going on, of course the hospital can't give me any information. I believe her husband still plans to leave. He left last night and wouldn't go see her at the hospital but he returned early in the AM to take my grandson to school. I do not know if my son in law plans to return (my grandson is not his biological son). I just don't know what to do anymore. Asking my daughter to leave means throwing my grandson out as well. My grandson's father has joint custody and isn't much better than my daughter so letting him know what is going on so that he would take my grandson isn't much of a great choice. I am so lost.

[Rebamart57]

My young adult daughter has BPD and is on meds and has had some therapy. She is married and has a child. She and her family are living with me. Her husband and she fight frequently and in very unhealthy ways. My house has experienced damage as a result of the episodes. Yesterday they had another argument and her husband tried to leave. It was a bad scene that ended with my daughter overdosing on her medications. She is in the hospital and I do not know when she will be released. Neither I or her son were home when this happened. She is not communicating with me so I do not know what is going on, of course the hospital can't give me any information. I believe her husband still plans to leave. He left last night and wouldn't go see her at the hospital but he returned early in the AM to take my grandson to school. I do not know if my son in law plans to return (my grandson is not his biological son). I just don't know what to do anymore. Asking my daughter to leave means throwing my grandson out as well. My grandson's father has joint custody and isn't much better than my daughter so letting him know what is going on so that he would take my grandson isn't much of a great choice. I am so lost.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Jnel921]

Hello Rebamart, welcome. I am sorry to hear about what is going on in your home. It must be very difficult. But like you we are all facing similar challenges.

It isn't healthy for a child to see their parents fighting. Perhaps they should leave and leave you with their son until they can fix their relationship if they are willing to fix it that is.

Her overdosing as a reaction to her husband leaving means she isn't thinking about her son which is concerning.

I hope you get to speak to your D or her H and let them know they should think of their son. Its a shame he is in the middle of all of this. I hope you are ok. I am sure having them there with you is tough. It would be for me.

I hope your D is well and things get better.   

[Harri]

Hi Rebamart57.

It has been a couple of days since you last posted and I am concerned.  How are you and your grandson doing?  Is your daughter still in the hospital?

You are not alone in your situation and there are several people who have navigated a similar situation so you are in a good place for support and understanding.

When you can, please update us on your situation.