Testing times ahead

[infiniteeyes]

Hello all 

Well a little update since my last post.

My DD16 and I had a conference meeting on Friday morning. We have had these kind of meetings before but this one was definitely more "serious" for the want of a better word!

There were a whole host of professionals present. The Head Social worker herself, 2 other social workers, family support worker, community psych nurse, DD's psychologist and DD's school principal, the juvenille liason officer and a new face the drug and alcohol counsellor for youth.

Wow it really was over-whelming.

There were basically a few recommendations put forward with the most significant one being that an application be put forward for secure care if my DD's behaviour continues to escalate as there is serious concern about the risk she is putting herself at, with her alcohol and drug use and absconding and sexual activity.

So there will be another meeting in 2 months time to discuss the lay of the land.

My fear is that DD still is not really taking all of this very seriously. Or that if she is she is not showing it. And there could probably be more of the same behaviour if she doesnt open up and be honest about her fears and anxieties regarding being "locked up"

Just tonight she is hounding me to let her go to a house party in another town this weekend coming.

I wonder if it really isnt sinking in or if she is testing my boundaries to see my reaction.

Anyway, Im bracing myself for the next two months. It will be a test for us both and all involved.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[lbjnltx]

Sounds like some strong boundaries are needed.  If she does her own thing the natural consequences will be the lead teacher for her.

Staying strong and being her parent will be tough and necessary.



lbj

[infiniteeyes]

Thank u for your reply lbjnltx 

I agree with the boundaries. It starts with the little things, I find. If you dont watch the little things it tends to spiral out of control. For instance tonight she wanted me to put the wifi on for an extra hour as I turn it off at 11pm. This was discussed with her a week before school started back. Tonight, for some reason, it bothered her. I listened to her give me all the reasons why I should turn it back on but I stood firmly. Que some door banging and cursing. However she apologised afterwards which is a positive.

I will do anything it takes to keep her out of secure care. Unfortunately though, the ball is well and truly in her court. She has never been in care before so Im sort of clueless.  I dont imagine it would be a pleasant experience for her. And Im not really sure if it would be of any benefit to her or if it would just harden her heart against me. The only one thing positive I can come up with is that at least Ill know shes safe.

Its tough. X.

[lbjnltx]

Yes infiniteeys,

Stay off the slippery slope. 

Can you tell me... .what is "secure care"?  Is it inpatient state hospitalization?

[infiniteeyes]

It is state run yes. But it is less like a hospital and more like a care home for at risk youths between the ages 11 and 17.