From Silent Protector to Raging Angry Child

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

So, after abandonment and ST for 10 weeks, there has been a flurry of activity over the past 24-48 hours. Quick recap of past episodes: I asked exbfBPD to repay what he committed to pay when he committed to pay it: August 1. He is paid on the 1st of the month a large sum. So cash flow is NOT his problem; money management is (like many of our pwBPD)

My request should not have been a surprise; we had talked and texted about it for weeks. His probation disallows him to apply or use or purchase anything on credit. So on many occasions, he helped himself to my credit cards and cash flow. In July he paid off a car loan with my card.

When I asked him to pay me on August 1, he began raging (uncharacteristically); he drove off (to repay another friend) and the past 10 weeks have been VERY low contact (asking him to pay me back and asking what happened) during his ST.

August 1 would have marked a committed relationship lasting just over a year that he characterized as my "helping him get back on his feet." Last week, I began getting cryptic ? texts from him. I sent him a text this week saying that I had to assume that 10 weeks of not speaking to me must mean the r/s is over, and I'm disappointed. DEAFENING SILENCE.

Yesterday my son in law happens to see him in an unrecognized car; said he looked "very nervous and very strange." We live in a large urban area, so it was a strange coincidence, and exbfBPD tried very hard to ignore my son's friendly waving. Shortly after, ExbfBPD starts texting nonsensical and very paranoid sounding texts to me and informs me he's moved and changed jobs and is living like a hermit.

This morning I have a missed call from exbfBPD--first time in 10 weeks. Later I receive texts of righteous indignation that his charges (on my card) have been reversed. I had followed legal and financial advice. Multiple times over 10 weeks I've told him he's put me in a very bad position.

Now he's shocked? Indignant?

How am I? Frankly, I'm scared.

[Loveofhislife]

So, after abandonment and ST for 10 weeks, there has been a flurry of activity over the past 24-48 hours. Quick recap of past episodes: I asked exbfBPD to repay what he committed to pay when he committed to pay it: August 1. He is paid on the 1st of the month a large sum. So cash flow is NOT his problem; money management is (like many of our pwBPD)

My request should not have been a surprise; we had talked and texted about it for weeks. His probation disallows him to apply or use or purchase anything on credit. So on many occasions, he helped himself to my credit cards and cash flow. In July he paid off a car loan with my card.

When I asked him to pay me on August 1, he began raging (uncharacteristically); he drove off (to repay another friend) and the past 10 weeks have been VERY low contact (asking him to pay me back and asking what happened) during his ST.

August 1 would have marked a committed relationship lasting just over a year that he characterized as my "helping him get back on his feet." Last week, I began getting cryptic ? texts from him. I sent him a text this week saying that I had to assume that 10 weeks of not speaking to me must mean the r/s is over, and I'm disappointed. DEAFENING SILENCE.

Yesterday my son in law happens to see him in an unrecognized car; said he looked "very nervous and very strange." We live in a large urban area, so it was a strange coincidence, and exbfBPD tried very hard to ignore my son's friendly waving. Shortly after, ExbfBPD starts texting nonsensical and very paranoid sounding texts to me and informs me he's moved and changed jobs and is living like a hermit.

This morning I have a missed call from exbfBPD--first time in 10 weeks. Later I receive texts of righteous indignation that his charges (on my card) have been reversed. I had followed legal and financial advice. Multiple times over 10 weeks I've told him he's put me in a very bad position.

Now he's shocked? Indignant?

How am I? Frankly, I'm scared.