What would you say to your replacement?

[VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?"]

I know I should feel empathy for her but I'm struggling to - I still feel she took him away from me. I know she's been in love with him and it wasn't reciprocated til he wanted to leave me but I also know the ride she's in for

Has anyone ever contacted them?  My expbds girlfriend tried to warn me he told me she wanted him back and was stirring .  I'd love to chat to her now.

[merlin4926]

I know I should feel empathy for her but I'm struggling to - I still feel she took him away from me. I know she's been in love with him and it wasn't reciprocated til he wanted to leave me but I also know the ride she's in for

Has anyone ever contacted them?  My expbds girlfriend tried to warn me he told me she wanted him back and was stirring .  I'd love to chat to her now.

[raisins3142]

I would leave well enough alone.

Interestingly, she never tagged me in facebook photos nor would put my name in the relationship status area, she did state "in a relationship" though.

Always seemed odd, maybe it was her way to keep exs or folks that really knew her from contacting me behind her back with the scoop?

[Infared]

My ex cheated on me and ran off.

That being said, her relationship with him is none of my business. My ex was in a committed live-in relationship with me. She decided to betray me and deceitfully abandon our relationship. My business is with her. He could be anybody (unless he  is a good friend of mine or a relative which is not the case), and there is no reason for me to talk to him. I am not jealous or envious. He is under her manipulative spell... .I have been portrayed as the evil villain and he is the foolish rescuer. What fruit would I expect to bear by interacting with him.

He does not know anything about me other than the black paint that she has painted all over me and he believes every word of it.

What would be the point?

[Infern0]

Nothing, I hope she ruins him, like really, really ruins him. She's doing a good job so far and long may it continue.

[bunnyrabit]

feel empathy? This a$$hole was (is?) cheating on his girlfriend with her and kept sleeping with her while she was back with me. So it seems like she may have met her match this time, good for them. I sincerely hope he's PD too so she'll get a taste of her own medicine. Do I want to know about it? Nope, not one word

[merlin4926]

I meant more in a what would you say in a vent to them?  I have no intention of contacting her - she will get her karma for taking him!

[Earthbayne]

Good luck.

[Infern0]

I meant more in a what would you say in a vent to them?  I have no intention of contacting her - she will get her karma for taking him!

Honestly if I ever encounter my replacement I will be calling him out to fight him, I know it may sound immature but he disrespected me as a man by knowingly moving in on my girlfriend when she was in a commited relationship. I do not forgive, or forget, and if I get an opportunity we will settle things the old fashioned way.

I have seen him twice but both times I was at work. If I see him in my private time, i'll be challenging his manhood.

[Mr Hollande]

My replacement is a loser. A low level drug dealer without the basic skills to make his way in society like the rest of us. And now he also has her to contend with. I don't hate him but I have no sympathy for him either. If I ever did meet him, and that's highly hypothetical, I would probably say "you are playing with fire".

[fred6]

My ex cheated on me and ran off.

That being said, her relationship with him is none of my business. My ex was in a committed live-in relationship with me. She decided to betray me and deceitfully abandon our relationship. My business is with her. He could be anybody (unless he  is a good friend of mine or a relative which is not the case), and there is no reason for me to talk to him. I am not jealous or envious. He is under her manipulative spell... .I have been portrayed as the evil villain and he is the foolish rescuer. What fruit would I expect to bear by interacting with him.

He does not know anything about me other than the black paint that she has painted all over me and he believes every word of it.

What would be the point?

^^^^X1000, I agree with this.

I'm not the jealous type. I never told her that she couldn't go out. I never really checked up on her until the schit hit the fan. However, after the cheating and lying I did get jealous to a point. But that kind of passed quickly. I thought of all sorts of revenge on new supply, but what's the point? They may or may not suffer our fate in the relationship. But one thing is for damn sure. It ain't gonna be easy and they have their work cut out for themselves. Just let them live in their own miserable world.

[Infared]

I meant more in a what would you say in a vent to them?  I have no intention of contacting her - she will get her karma for taking him!

I think you miss the main point.

He chose to go.

It has nothing to do with her.

[Mr Hollande]

Our replacements are in most cases as deluded and in a thick fog as we once were. Some of them may hate us for the BS they've been fed by our exes but they'll get wiser. I see no point in challenging them over anything.

[BorisAcusio]

I meant more in a what would you say in a vent to them?  I have no intention of contacting her - she will get her karma for taking him!

Honestly if I ever encounter my replacement I will be calling him out to fight him, I know it may sound immature but he disrespected me as a man by knowingly moving in on my girlfriend when she was in a commited relationship. I do not forgive, or forget, and if I get an opportunity we will settle things the old fashioned way.

I have seen him twice but both times I was at work. If I see him in my private time, i'll be challenging his manhood.

Not only immature but overtly narcissistic. I almost did the same with the guy she was cheating on me with, while she was actually lying to both of us, living a double life. I hold no grudge for him, appereantly had his own problems like we all do(who would have offered his house to move in after a few weeks of online dating).

Our "manhood" and self-esteem was challanged by ourselves when hooked up with someone capable of breeching every boundaries.

[Deeno02]

I would leave well enough alone.

Interestingly, she never tagged me in facebook photos nor would put my name in the relationship status area, she did state "in a relationship" though.

Always seemed odd, maybe it was her way to keep exs or folks that really knew her from contacting me behind her back with the scoop?

Mine never did either. One more way I was made to feel insignificant.

[Deeno02]

To answer the question: Nothing. They are in honeymoon phase so its all sunshine and lollipops. He'll figure it out. Not my problem anymore.

[imstronghere2]

Two words:   NO REFUNDS!     

[Mr Hollande]

For a challenge on manhood I offer anyone who thinks they are up to the task a dose of BPD relationship. Who walks away away that game unscathed wins.

[BorisAcusio]

For a challenge on manhood I offer anyone who thinks they are up to the task a dose of BPD relationship. Who walks away away that game unscathed wins.

What made us think in the first place that we have take up that "task" with someone whose core values and belief system goes entirely against ours? "Manhood" should mean more than a "stake out a claim" to a particular space, area or object.

[parisian]

I would think 'good luck'. I have no idea if she has a replacement or not. I suspect she has.

But I wouldn't say anything. My ex'es life and her relationships are no longer my concern, nor my business. As are mine to her.

I wish the both of them the best whilst I enjoy my life free of that nightmare.

[glaciercats]

It's a crazy cycle that leaves so much destruction to everyone in the path.  You feel for the next victim, but really what can you do?  If you contact them to offer help you will just be made out to be the crazy stalker ex.  Double edged sword.

[clydegriffith]

Well, there's been about 4 or 5 replacement "boyfriends' in the 2 1/2 years post breakup. I would tell the latest one that it would be in his best interest to get a paternity test to make sure that the latest of the BPDx's 5 babies is his. I really feel bad for this guy as i'm sure he's being abused in the same fashion i was. He may even have it worse as he has to watch all her kids constantly while she bartends overnight. That whole situation is a recipe for yet another disaster.

[downwhim]

At first I wanted to go over there and confront her. She called my home at 2:30 am laughing, drunk and claiming to be my twin. She caught me off guard and I hung up then didn't answer the next ring. Unavailable number. I was in so much pain then and still in shock from the initial b/u just days before. She was ... .my fiancé. What class. I wanted to seek revenge. But, why stoop down to her level?

She will experience the idealization phase, then clinger, then hater too. It will happen. She will get to see what it is like to be on the receiving end of his rages, mood swings,  controlling sex and think this is love. She will go through make up and break ups and feel pain.

After getting involved with a man in a commitment relationship I say she deserves all of this. I want no part in it. I just want to get healthy.

[Mr Hollande]

For a challenge on manhood I offer anyone who thinks they are up to the task a dose of BPD relationship. Who walks away away that game unscathed wins.

What made us think in the first place that we have take up that "task" with someone whose core values and belief system goes entirely against ours? "Manhood" should mean more than a "stake out a claim" to a particular space, area or object.

The point I'm making is that the member (Infern0?) talking about challenging his replacements manhood need not bother as that is being done for him by his ex.

[clydegriffith]

I think a lot of people have misplaced anger towards the replacement. If the BPD person you were involved with is anything at all like the one i was, anyone given the "boyfriend' label is pretty much a good hearted guy that's believing her stories. I know this because that used to be me. I used to have anger for the guy i replaced. I remember thinking "if we ever exchange words i'll teach him that what he did isn't how you treat a woman". In retrospect he was just her first real victim. She trapped him with two kids while he was still in his early 20s. He ended up getting custody of them and is raising them as a single dad. Not a bad guy at all. The problem is and always will be the BPDx as the amount of chaos she causes wherever she goes is unprecedented. The things this woman has done are truly unbelievable.

That however is just who is given the "boyfriend" title. The BPDx can not be with one person and most surely has casual sexual affairs. Those affairs are reserved for the guys not so good hearted guys who she knows would never entertain the thought of settling down with her and her million kids.

[Mr Hollande]

Very true Clyde. Most of us here were replacements once.

[Recooperating]

I think this blog I found some time ago fits the topic well. Its written by a woman so she talks about "he"... .Can be "she" as well ofcourse.

As far as my replacement...  She is the woman he cheated with. When he ended things with her she started stalking me, teamed up with his ex wife to begin a bullying episode against me. She posted ___ on FB, send me messages talking about he's NPD, he's cheating with other women too, blah blah blah. I never responded. The second we were broken up, they were a hot item and all over FB. The ex wife was furious. All a bunch of triangulation drama and BS. My life is so peacefull now. And they deserve each other. I do always enjoy reading this blog though:

www.heartless-b___es.com/rants/manipulator/special.shtml

[JRT]

Most of the posts that I read indicate that there is a replacement often secured or even before the b/u or is found quickly thereafter (once girl that I dated found one on the last recycle only moments that I broke up with her while with a group of friends at a bar many years ago. She danced with a guy there, eventually married him and is still married 15 years later!).

This one has a tendency of sitting it out between relationships for a while. On past recycles, she was very emphatic that there was no one else and even though she had proved to be a very skill full liar and actress, for some reason I believed her. Does not having a replacement disqualify her from being BPD or is she just a different flavor? On top of this, she didn't act out at all. There were never any arguments or disagreements, only during breakups.

[RedDove]

I would say, ":)on't walk away, RUN! You won't believe me now, but fairy tales are NOT real, he is not Prince Charming. Six months or a year down the road the fairy tale will turn into a nightmare. You'll regret the day you ever met him, heard him call you Babe or Baby, or uttered the vile words and empty lie... .I love you... .You are the love of my life!" 

[neverloveagain]

Keep the *itch.

[merlin4926]

I think this blog I found some time ago fits the topic well. Its written by a woman so she talks about "he"... .Can be "she" as well ofcourse.

As far as my replacement...  She is the woman he cheated with. When he ended things with her she started stalking me, teamed up with his ex wife to begin a bullying episode against me. She posted on FB, send me messages talking about he's NPD, he's cheating with other women too, blah blah blah. I never responded. The second we were broken up, they were a hot item and all over FB. The ex wife was furious. All a bunch of triangulation drama and BS. My life is so peacefull now. And they deserve each other. I do always enjoy reading this blog though:

This article is brilliant. Spot on. I fell for - it I owe his ex an apology I believed she was "a mess" who wanted him back (his version obviously). I do pity my replacement but I can't forgive either of them. You don't get involved with someone already in a relationship.

www.heartless-b___es.com/rants/manipulator/special.shtml