Hi Marbles,
Up until now I've been operating on the assumption that all my husband's behaviours are due to bouts of depression but some things didn't fit. Even when he wasn't low there would be"episodes" of suddenly not speaking to me. I'd turn myself inside out trying to work out what I just did that brought on this sudden change. Last time it was because he was in the mood for sex but ignoring me so I gave up. Only after I completely lost it and destroyed and wine glass ( and a portion of our laminate flooring in the process) he finally admitted what had bothered him. Apparently he wanted me to do certain things. I'm not psychic ( my life would be much easier if I were). He admits he's crap at communication. I probably am too but I don't expect him to know things he can't possibly know.
Communication is really critical in these relationships and the extremes tend to undermine it. You can help him a lot by focusing on non-judgemental and validating communication.
Wish life were a bit simpler. Sigh.
PwBPD tend to drive complexity through their extremes. Once you study the LESSONS and practice validation and boundary skills you may come to the conclusion that behind all this there are simpler drivers at play and you'll get some control back.
,
a0
