Thanks for that Pete
I’ve got no concerns whatsoever about having similar battles id had with my ex, I’ve done the ground work and prepared for 14 months by really getting to know my girlfriend and forming a solid bond before we started our relationship so I know she is nothing like her. And I have always been very calm, very laid back and in control of my emotions, even throughout my previous relationship, which is probably a factor as I had no fear of abandonment or concerns my wife would leave me but she did.
I’ve discussed it with her in the last week and told her that I value our relationship a lot. She knows the situation I’ve been through and how I’ve been treated, and I think she did worry a little about my ex. I think looking at the behaviour of my ex, the fact that her boyfriend was telling her he loved her within a week of us splitting up (2 months after his own wife left him after a 30 year marriage) and knowing how disordered and insecure they both are I’ve been conscious not to love bomb my gf and it’s actually taken me until this last week, 9 months to tell her that I love her. I think we have both been scared to say it, and I have been worried it might push her away but now I have I think it has helped massively. It has kind of opened the floodgates of emotion. I know it is reciprocated. She has told me every day since I said it that she loves me, today she said we are perfect together and she has always known that.
Everyone that knows us says it too, that we are perfect together and I don't think any of them are surprised that we are together now. Even her ex boyfriend, someone I’ve known for a very long time that actually grew up living next door to my wife, who’s sister was one of her best friends, has said he is pleased we are together and deserve to be together, and that my wife didn’t deserve to be with me.
It’s kind of the opposite of what everyone thought about my wife and I, even her own father told me she didn’t deserve me. I guess sometimes I just feel a little vulnerable now, which I never felt before.


