I read that you are considering draining your retirement accounts for funds. A question for you: are the retirement accounts in a 401(k) plan sponsored by your employer? Many plans will allow you to borrow funds. You could ask your HR team about that. I think borrowing would be better than an early withdrawal, which comes with personal taxes plus a 10% penalty. There's such as thing as a hardship withdrawal, too. You could look into that as a back-up plan. One caution however: if you lose your job, you typically have to repay the loan. That's why it would be good to talk to HR or your 401(k) plan administrator to get all the details, and consider the pros and cons.
I used to work as a programmer for a Fortune 200 company which had divisions managing 401(k), 403(b) and other retirement plans. But several years ago they merged divisions and promptly told me thank you and goodbye. Unsaid was that I was near retirement age. Back then the 10% withdrawal penalty only applied to those under 55 years of age. Beyond that, CC43 wrote accurately.
Remember this if/when you get to splitting assets from retirement accounts, typically at the end of a divorce process. You do NOT cut her a check from your retirement account! Instead, there is a court & retirement administrator process (QDRO) that must be followed or else you risk paying her taxes. What the administrator does is create a new account there for your stbEx, and moves the court approved amount (if that applies) to her new account separate from you. Only at that point do you have NO tax consequences because it is not your concern what she does with it thereafter.



