Thank you for the update. I am glad for you that you have found peace. Of course you are grieving your mother and I hope it brings you peace to know that you made sure she was in competent hands, and well cared for and there was love and connection between the two of you. You were the best person to be POA for your mother and she knew you were.
I also think your decision to go NC was done in heartfelt consideration of all your efforts with her too.
My BPD mother passed away earlier this year. It's a different emotional state than what I felt with my father. With him, it was just hopeless grief. With BPD mother, I think the first week was shock, then numbness, and also fear. We were not allowed to touch any of her possessions and yet, I had to collect her personal belongings from her room, while still afraid of doing that.
I do have the assurance of knowing her last days were with competent palliative care. I was at the hospital with her. She had a proper funeral and I believe she's at peace.
I worked with a counselor after BPD mother passed for a few weeks to process my feelings. It helped a lot. Posting here has also helped me to process this relationship and also understand some of the dynamics between my parents better.
I wish you all the best in all your new endeavors.


