Hello and welcome to the family! I'm so sorry you're going through this and I've been where you're at. My BPD daughter is now 27 but I remember those early teenage years like they were yesterday.
First, don't worry so much about BPD or NPD. They overlap on the spectrum and most will have traits in both categories. With that said, there's traditional and non-traditional (quiet) BPD, and they do display quite differently. I know because my ex-wife fell in the latter caregory while my oldest kid was traditional.
My biggest question is how we can support you personally- what are a few of the things that are the biggest challenges day to day? Talk that out a little bit. Also, know that mental illness is a family disease because it affects everyone in the home, especially at 14. It's great that all of you are in therapy and hopefully you realize that this is not your fault.
Please ask the tough questions, rant away when you need to, and let us know how we can help! You are not alone in this anymore.


