Yes, there were frequent breakups but always initiated by her. First time was only after a few weeks, when she just walked right past me as I was waiting for her for a night out. That came as quite a shock, especially as I'd never heard of BPD before. I put it down to moodiness and insecurity.
Turned out she'd had a bad day at work, decided I wouldn't be happy with that for some reason so she breaks up with me before, in her mind, I break up with her. That's how a BPD mind can work - seeing things which just aren't there. We were broke up for a few months, though she still came into the pub to make sure I could see she was there. Premeditation, she knew exactly what she was doing.
After me chasing her and us getting back together, that was just one of many meltdowns by her for various reasons, none of them being my fault. Argument with her mother? Break up with me. Getting beat at pool? Break up with me. I talk to the barmaid for too long in her opinion? Break up with me. I'm sure you've experienced similar.
4 years of this but her last meltdown was the one that made me call it quits and I never contacted her again. She was worse than ever, saying the most ridiculous things and she seemed close to getting violent which I'd never seen before. Maybe I was finally seeing the true person and it wasn't something I was prepared to continue with, not matter how much I still cared for her.
My ex and I only broke up once and two months later we are still not together. She has push/pulled me for the last two months, popping in and out, saying she misses and loves me then pushing me away.
She broke up with me because she thought I was never going to move in or get married, we didn’t even make it to our one year anniversary, I was shooting for 1.5-2 years of dating before I proposed, she has two kids as well which complicated things. She had an issue with my ADD time blindness; I was pretty good about being on time for specific events, but struggled if there were no set plans or it was open ended. She wanted to go golfing and boating and tanning, and I was not outdoorsy like that but was willing to compromise on it and get out of my comfort zone.
My ex was more of a quiet BPD, she wasn’t as outward as your ex. She accused me of cheating a lot, one time I was stopping home to eat, when I got in my car I called my guy friend back and took a photo of my neck to see if I had any blood from when I shaved it early and she accused me of calling a woman to meet at my house and said I was snapping her.
I just miss her tbh. I’m beating myself up over my mistakes and wish we were still together.
When you were broken up for a few months did she initiate it and how much were you guys in contact during that time? How did you guys get back together?