Working

[Foreverhopefull]

Does any of you have a pwBPD working in a job that just the worst environment for someone with BPD?

Here is why I'm asking... .  My dBPDh left/asked to be put on lay off from his job almost 2 years now. He had been doing the same job since he was 14 (he's turning 40 this month), he was a feller.

When he left, he was drinking 24+ beers a day (he would drink a 6 pack by the time he left home and got to the garage, have another as he came back and let's not speak of his liquid lunches... .  and that was just during working hours); he was extremely unstable, impulsive and intense, he would hit or cut himself daily (he even crushed his finger in the wood chipper just to see what it would do, then refused to go to the hospital to get it looked at. It's still crooked and he can't feel a darn thing with it)... .  he was hitting rock bottom at a crazy rate. Like he said, it was either him or death.

Yesterday, his old boss called, told him that anytime he feels like coming back, he is more than welcomed. Thing is, my husband is not only BPD but also has dysthymia, being around so many dangerous tools is not always the best thing.

His medical team told him that it would be best that he doesn't go back to that profession for a few reasons: the environment is not the most stable and, let's face it, too dangerous for someone that has suicidal thoughts and tendencies. We didn't even talk about the mix of people that are dysfunctional (tons of drugs, alcohol and other dependencies). I totally agree, he once drafted a list of all the ways he could kill himself with the tools found in the truck... .  even his T was white as a sheet when he was done. I think he listed about 50+ ways.

He is petrified of having to do something else. He quit school at 14 to work full time as a feller, never finished school, never did anything else. It's the one thing he feels great at driving and being a feller (his reputation is an amazing one... .  great worker that knows his job from the driver seat to the top of the tree).

Anyone else had to face a change of career due to BPD?

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Rockylove]

Wow... .  this is a difficult situation indeed!  I do hope your husband is able to make a clear minded decision based on his own well being.

My bf was not working when we met (another reason he couldn't understand why I would want to be with him) and has not worked in 2 years now.  The job he held was something he'd been doing for 14 years and then his health began to deteriorate.  He was still struggling with issues and drama that his ex wife brought into his life and the constant stress created a prime atmosphere for raging.  He was moved out of the field and into an office which he hated.  His employers couldn't understand the change in his behavior.  He'd been a model employee up until the last year or so he was there.  I suppose he just hit his breaking point though and his doctors told him that he needed to get off the stress wagon or it would kill him.  He took advantage of a buy out from the company and is pretty much biding his time until he can collect Social Security. 

He keeps mentioning that he needs to get a job, but has done nothing toward getting one.  I could care less if he works~~his health is more important to me than a few extra bucks.  I neither encourage nor discourage him from working.  I feel that it would benefit him tremendously to get out of the house (and out of his head) even if it were a couple of hours a day mostly because he sits in front of the computer endlessly reading really unusual articles (anything off the wall~~weird religious stuff, aliens, conspiracy theories~~you name it, he reads it)  Regardless, I don't know that he could actually function in any job right now.  Whenever there is the slightest amount of stress (perceived) he gets chest pains and turns pale.  Uncertainty and insecurity can be crippling for him.  Learning something new puts him over the edge.  He's extremely intelligent and yet cannot handle learning a new task without raging.  My heart goes out to him on this as quite often men will attach their identity with what they do.  He does nothing so he feels like nothing.  It's a difficult position for him to be in and I can only offer my love and compassion~~it is what it is.

I'm not sure that I answered your question in any way that is meaningful, but it sure did help me to articulate this.