Need advice on rehab... limited options

[cfh]

Since the judge will allow my ds29 to come back to NY on the condition that he enter a residential rehab (12-18 months) I have been searching for a place.

What I have found is that there are rehabs here that will take him but they offer very little mental health services.  Almost nothing.

Here's where I need your advice and wisdom!

His only other option is to go to jail for 3 years if he chooses not to go into one of these programs.

How do you think a pwBPD will do in drug rehab without any MH resources?  He will be sleeping in a room with many other people, there will be lots of groups and some one on one therapy but it is all about addiction.

He is an addict so he needs this but it scares me that he will not be getting any MH help.

If he enters one of these programs he will not be able to get any outside therapy or DBT either.

I guess what I'm asking is if this was your ds/dd how would they do in this environment?

Is this better than nothing or is this a potential disaster?

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Someday . . .]

Do you have the finances/or is it possible that a DBT therapist come to visit him at the rehab?  I agree that it is scary without the mh component.  Is there any way that something can be put into place by a health care professional visiting?

[peaceplease]

What would a potential disaster be?  What do you anticipate may happen?  Would it be worse than 3 years in jail? If he fails, would he have to  serve three years? 

Is he permitted to attend outside appointment for MH?  Could you set up outpatient treatment while he is a patient at rehab?

[cfh]

Peace please and someday

No he would not be able to have any MH treatment outside of the program or to have a therapist visit him while he is there. 

Best case would be that he could see one of the programs therapists once a month.

If he were asked to leave the program and we could not find another placement for him then he would be sent back to CO to prison.

I guess that's one of my fears... .  the other that without any therapy he will unravel.

Though a year in rehab would keep him off drugs and his drug abuse in the past has made his BPD behaviors so much worse,

[lbjnltx]

Dear cfh,

There have been many good suggestions here as well as questions to consider.

Since he will be in a structured and supportive environment for his addiction other opportunities can be seized.

If the structure of the rehab limits who can come in, where he goes, the opportunities will need to fit within that structure.  :)o each of the programs have the same limitations?  Perhaps asking these questions that other members have put forth will help you and your son make the best choice of facilities.

If no opportunities for outside resources fit into the structure of the programs there is the option of self directed mental health care.  Books, dbt workbooks, online www.dbtselfhelp.com (if internet access is allowed).

Let us know what you find out.  As Griz says... .  "Give everything but up"... .  while practicing a great deal of self care... .  of course!  

lbj

[sunshineplease]

The question I had is whether 12-step programs were part of the rehab. While not therapy, they can be of great help for the "addicted" side of the equation, and maybe lead to greater self-understanding that would make self-directed work more effective.

[cfh]

Lbj

We have 3 rehab options to chose from and all work with the same rules and restrictions.

I like your idea of self directed DBT and my DS has always responded well to that therapy.

Whichever place we all decide on he is going to have to work very hard at successfully completing it.  

Basically he is homeless in NY since he can't live with us.  A rehab will give him a roof over his head and the structure and support he needs to deal with his addictions.

The extended family will all be nearby to support him in this and hopefully that will help him get through it.

If not he knows he has to go to prison for 3 years (or more because he would have violated his probation),

Wherever he goes we will continue to advocate for additional MH services... .  who knows we may get lucky and change a few rules!

[lbjnltx]

The extended family will all be nearby to support him in this and hopefully that will help him get through it.

This has proven to be an important factor in recovery for pwBPD... .  the family support.

Wherever he goes we will continue to advocate for additional MH services... .  who knows we may get lucky and change a few rules!

There ya go!  That is where positive change begins.

[Reality]

Dear cfh,

I would visit the different facilities with a friend, if possible,  to meet the staff and to get a feel for the place.

Make a list of criteria before you visit.

Look for staff who are kind and thoughtful, flexible thinkers.

You have said that your son benefitted from the bible studies, so find out if there is a chaplain.  Go and meet the chaplain.  Could you ask the chaplain to be your son's mentor?  One kind, good person who takes a REAL interest in your son could be life-changing.

Check out the other patients/clients there.

The facilities... .  activities etc.

What kind of leadership roles could your son assume?

Could he implement a Walk for Will initiative?  Just joking a bit, but maybe something along those lines... .  

Your son needs good people to be successful.  Interview the staff.  Question them.

Your son deserves the best you can find.

Reality

[qcarolr]

cfh -

Maybe the rehab stucture will be enough for now - seems you S has been saying to you he is not ready to do the mental health piece? When he was saying he wanted to go to jail, he has failed at other MH programs? Maybe this structure will give him a start toward doing the harder emotional work. And getting the self-thearapy option supported withing the rehab setting - what a great idea. Go for it - bend some of those rules - see what flexibility there is in each rehab center.

Just my 2 cents worth.

qcr  

[cfh]

reality qcarol and lbj

DH and I are going to visit 3 places this week with a million questions. For now I think the structure and safety may be enough.  And having family close by that he can see often I think will be a great thing.  He adores my gs6 and has missed him so much while he has been away.

Not perfect but I think after seeing the places something in our gut will tell us which one is right for him.

I found out about a new one today called Samaritan Village that does offer some MH services!

Reality... .  I love the idea of getting a chaplain involved.  My ds has a strong belief in god.

Wish us luck.

Thanks for all the great ideas.  I was beginning to go down that dark pit again but I feel much more optimistic now.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[peaceplease]

cfh,

I am glad that it is looking better for you.


I hope you find something that works!   

 

peaceplease

[cfh]

peaceplease sunshine and someday... .  thank you also!