Is dd18 coming back home?

[mafmum]

hello everybody! it,s been a long time since i last posted here! In November i was exausted and i asked dh18's dad to have her home for 6 months. Yesterday he called and said " i can,t have her anymore my wife has left home and life is hell". This was the first time since our divorce ( ten years ago) that he was so close to her, or living with her for a long(?) period of time. Tomorrow we will have a meeting with her therapy team, but i know she is coming back, and most likelly brake all the thin connection she had with her father: i'm sorry for her! please send all the good energy you can to help us find the best solution for dd18 and my family!

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Survive2012]

Hello Mafmum,

It is very difficult living with a BPD son or daughter. However, I think it is best if you share. Six months with daddy, six months with mummy. During the "free" six months, one can recover and get all the strenght and stability to better cope with d18 whan she comes back.

I think this is the best solution for all of you!

Survive

[qcarolr]

mafmum -

How are you doing? You were so exhausted when your D18 left for her dad's. Do you have any strategies or new ideas of how to manage your home in a different way than before? What kind of support systems do you have in place for your needs? As parents, if we can get ourselves as strong as possible, with good support, then there is a better chance of using the many good skills and tools that are here for us in connecting with our BPDkids.

I can hear the pain and regret you may be feeling for your D losing the slim connection she has with her dad. Some of this may be for you needing him to take on more long-term responsibility with his daughter. Is some of it the loss you feel for your D not having this r/s in her life?

Keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers.

qcr  

[jellibeans]

Sharing the load sounds like a good plan... .  did your ex say why she was leaving? Just his life is falling apart? I hope you had a chance to rest and recover... .  we all need that. Have you had much contact with her for the past 6 months?

Sounds like you need a plan... .  that will take the stress out of her return. Set some boundaries and try to get her the help she needs. Good luck... .  take a deep breath... .  one day at time.