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[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

I have tried to be supportive. We had an appt for him to be evaluated and the day before he started seeming to make up reasons why he didn't want me to go. I felt he wouldn't go if I didn't go with him. Then he accused me of controling him. Turns out he starts drinking, which he doesn't normally do and he is the whole time saying he is going because he knows he needs to. I left the house because of the drinking state he was in. He stole our neighbors jeep and is now in jail pending charges. NOT GOOD! He had no where to go and said he wasn't really going anywhere but I guess felt he had to get away. I am so disappointed and discouraged. He did say before the jeep incident that he knew once he went to the appt he would not be himself from that point on. Help, has anyone experienced this... .  I haven't seen him or even heard from him. I have chosen to take some time for me and to get my head clear. At this point, I don't plan to get him out.

[dmiller]

I have tried to be supportive. We had an appt for him to be evaluated and the day before he started seeming to make up reasons why he didn't want me to go. I felt he wouldn't go if I didn't go with him. Then he accused me of controling him. Turns out he starts drinking, which he doesn't normally do and he is the whole time saying he is going because he knows he needs to. I left the house because of the drinking state he was in. He stole our neighbors jeep and is now in jail pending charges. NOT GOOD! He had no where to go and said he wasn't really going anywhere but I guess felt he had to get away. I am so disappointed and discouraged. He did say before the jeep incident that he knew once he went to the appt he would not be himself from that point on. Help, has anyone experienced this... .  I haven't seen him or even heard from him. I have chosen to take some time for me and to get my head clear. At this point, I don't plan to get him out.

[Clearmind]

 

Oh dear dmiller! What a mess and I can completely understand you would feel discouraged.

As hard as it is, he needs to extract himself without you enabling. I know that must be hard. Sometimes, it takes something like this for them to get help.

Awesome you are taking some time for you.  What are working through right now?

[an0ught]

Hi dmiller,

sounds like his fear of getting help was leading to escalating behavior. That would not be unusual chickening out of appointments or creating drama scheduling it is common. Although getting into jail instead of getting to the doctor is on the extreme side. Maybe he getting to rock bottom - who knows?

Good that you take time focusing on yourself. How is the family taking it?

[dmiller]

Thank you for your responses. I have been doing some deep cleansing of me... .  it really wears me out and gets me to a weak place when dealing with his eposides. He is out of jail and is pending court in May. He went immediately to get the mental eval. the next day after getting of jail. He was given depakote to take daily and some Krill Oil. Not so sure how the meds will work out but he is taking them. They are requiring him to do a group therapy about the alcohol and also do weekly testing. Interesting enough he didn't have a job but the day after getting out was called and offered a job. So he has high hopes with that. I am still not sure this is something I want to deal with the for the rest of my life.   So I am just taking one day at the time and making sure that I have clear minded with all my choices.