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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
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Author Topic: Broke NC, Sent Her More Money to 'Help Her', and The Abuse Follows  (Read 602 times)
daz_bpd
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Single
Posts: 134


« on: August 20, 2015, 05:08:28 AM »

Of course, the money sent is never enough, and she needs more and more. The budget setup for this month that was meant to be more than enough is gone, and she needs and was sent much more (which is also gone now).

Her new 'go to' abuse is how she has to resort to going to gross older men for money to get her out of financial trouble "You fed me to a pig. How dare you talk about love" - which of course makes me feel terrible, as if I'm somehow forcing her to do this because i won't help her.

This theme is very manipulative of her, as she knows just how much pride I take in being responsible, mature and looking after others, how respectful I am of girls, women and their boundaries - she makes me sound like I am the monster 'making her do terrible things'. It really strikes at my core values. There are so many terrible people out there, I want to continue to make a good impact in this world, to give and help others grow, and develop myself, and not continue to get burdened by this toxic ex-relationship.
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OnceConfused
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 4505


« Reply #1 on: August 21, 2015, 01:40:46 PM »

so why did you break NC and come back to her?

It is not what you did , because the past is already gone. It is not what you or she will do, because the future is not  yet here. It what you need to do today so you can change your tomorrow.

SO what DO YOU THINK YOU MUSt DO today?
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