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Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
> Topic:
My uBPDh (seperated) keeps telling me he wants to be alone...
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Topic: My uBPDh (seperated) keeps telling me he wants to be alone... (Read 509 times)
Lovingwife315
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Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: married but living apart/seperated
Posts: 32
My uBPDh (seperated) keeps telling me he wants to be alone...
«
on:
April 08, 2013, 04:15:29 PM »
Yet in the entire time I have known him ( 18 years) and in from what I know about before we met, he has NEVER been alone! But he really believes he is more "comfortable" alone... .
Any thoughts?
His GF who was the OW in our marriage, lives 3000 miles away and they see each other maybe once a month... . maybe that realationship is more comfortable for him than a wife and family that loves him and supports him... .
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mtmc01
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 169
Re: My uBPDh (seperated) keeps telling me he wants to be alone...
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Reply #1 on:
April 08, 2013, 04:44:57 PM »
My ex told me she needed to be alone and couldn't be in a relationship right now. Then she immediately started seeing another guy.
Words =/= Actions
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Surnia
Retired Staff
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: 8 y married, divorced since 2012-11-22
Posts: 3900
Re: My uBPDh (seperated) keeps telling me he wants to be alone...
«
Reply #2 on:
April 08, 2013, 10:55:13 PM »
Lovingwife
I hear your pain and hurting!
Comparing ... . is something we all do and often it is something not so nice for ourselves. And furthermore what he is telling you is perhaps not the whole truth... .
So I would focus more on yourself. How is your life right now? Do you have friends or new projects?
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“Don’t shrink. Don’t puff up. Stand on your sacred ground.” Brené Brown
Lovingwife315
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: married but living apart/seperated
Posts: 32
Re: My uBPDh (seperated) keeps telling me he wants to be alone...
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Reply #3 on:
April 09, 2013, 10:07:04 AM »
I have a very good/strong support system. I have family and friends, I have a meaningful career, I am in IC with a great therapist, and love my life with my children... . why in the world do I feel incomplete without my husband? I have yet to be about to disengage with him and make it only kid related stuff... . I think to text him whenever anything happens etc.
When will this stop? I guess I am even worried that when I finally get there , he will come back, and that my love for him will make me "forget" all he has put me and the kids thru... .
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Surnia
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: 8 y married, divorced since 2012-11-22
Posts: 3900
Re: My uBPDh (seperated) keeps telling me he wants to be alone...
«
Reply #4 on:
April 09, 2013, 03:17:12 PM »
Lovingwife
give yourself time!
You were in a long rs. It needs time to heal, time to reframe the thoughts. Its okay to miss him and its even better to be with friends, work, t.
It will get better. And should he call one day: We are here for you.
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“Don’t shrink. Don’t puff up. Stand on your sacred ground.” Brené Brown
daze
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Posts: 272
Re: My uBPDh (seperated) keeps telling me he wants to be alone...
«
Reply #5 on:
April 09, 2013, 03:23:42 PM »
Lovingwife,
Excerpt
I have yet to be about to disengage with him and make it only kid related stuff... . I think to text him whenever anything happens etc.
18 years is a long time. It would be next to impossible to just turn it off. I'm sorry for your pain.
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My uBPDh (seperated) keeps telling me he wants to be alone...
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